If you have ftp access, you should also have ssh access. If you can connect with ssh, you can access the config object in mongodb.
cant restart site on iis
 - [31merror[39m: [meta.restart] Could not restart, are you sure NodeBB was started with
... I'm guessing you did not start NodeBB with
./nodebb start. If you're using
node app.js, maybe change this to
node loader.js --no-daemonmight work then