People are all different

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Your comment was a triumph!

Ephera

People use the phonetic shortening "ace" to refer to asexuals. And then some asexuals leaned into that and use playing card suits to indicate how their stance on romance is. So, an ace of hearts indicates someone who's not into sex, but does enjoy romance. Whereas the ace of spades (being kind of an upside-down heart) says that they enjoy neither sex nor romance.

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You're completely missing the opposite though. Should straight-cis-whatever be just as private? How does that work with media and entertainment? What types of relationships are being used to tell a story and how does that effect someone watching? You can't just say it should stay Private when every piece of our society-fabric is woven with hetero storytelling/traditions.

A traditional marriage is a heterosexual parade (even have throwing shit and jumbling cans behind the car so everyone knows!).

Also, I'm not sure you're aware of this (I guess), but most people in history just don't come out exclaiming their sexual preferences. They were outted and condemned by the communities and people in it. They suffer in silence while those around them judge and make their lives harder (or end them). You can't ask a whole swath of people to stay "private" while others celebrate their relationship openly, I don't even understand how you can equate all of this together honestly. This just seems like a "don't dress provocative if you don't want to be raped" kinda view.

SavvyWolf

I think it varies from person to person, so yeah, more of a spectrum. I'm not ace myself and don't follow the community that closely so I'm not sure the exact definitions.

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Except with black men lol (I mostly kid, but it is definitely a thing for people with certain very politically incorrect fetishes).

penguin202124 (he/him)

I'm making a note here, the comment was a huge success!

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I have a sex

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But we already have that? The term is "being hungry". Hunger and appetite are 2 different things, that's why we have 2 different words for them

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Locker room talk doesn't literally have to happen in a locker room, it's just slang for talking about womens sex appeal whilst in a group of men without any women present

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Born too late to be a philosopher, born too early to become a robot

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There should just be another category so that people who are not on this spectrum can more easily understand (and therefore, hopefully, empathize), AND these categories should be used more often.

Asexual kinda denotes ONLY having no sexual desires, lust, urges, etc. and therefore will just confuse people. Both Ace of Spades and Ace of Hearts fit this.

But if you actually are lusting after people... Then it would be better there be something different to help understand that, such as Sex Repulsed / Forced Urged (You have lust but absolutely no desire to do anything, like feeling hungry but don't want to eat nasty food) or even just Low Libido (very rarely feel anything related to lust).

There is for example Demisexuals, which is for people who only can feel sexual desires with someone they form an intimate bond with (which I agree is a spectrum of asexuality as there's absolutely no lust until there is) But there isn't anything for people who do lust but either very little or are repulsed by it, as far as I know. There's not an absence of lust in those cases at any point, just a lack of want or amount.

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Interestingly I can agree on the grossness of it, only when "the mood" arises a kind of nasty turns into attractively naughty. It's a strange alteration. Like the new texture of a food you might find somewhat repulsive at first suddenly becomes highly addictive or desirable when you give in to it. The sleazy feeling of wanting to keep popping bubble wrap plastic without stopping.

This differs based on time, context (persons) and general mood.

I wonder if at a base level we have kind of the same attitude, but the hormonal alteration or lack thereof is what creates the differences and clouds my mind while yours stay sharp.

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Maybe you should stop being friends with sex predators. Being gay does not prevent you from being an abusive asshole, and should not shield you from being called out if you are one.

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I suspect the cause is that the the layperson couldn't wrap their head around the original version (because it's supposed to be a paradox) and ended up switching it around to "make sense"

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Asexuality is simply fear of rejection and/or insecurity. CMV.

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So, I know you got a lot of replies to this already (probably more than you expected lol) but I'd like to throw in my 2 cents.

For me, there's two big reasons to be public about your sexual preferences. The first of those is awareness. For me, I grew up homeschooled in an extremely rural area. My parents did their best with the whole 'birds and bees' thing and gave me books to handle puberty stuff (which worked really well for me since I read an insane amount back then). But none of those really went over anything about different sexual preferenes, leading me to waiting my entire teenage life for that point where I'm supposed to suddenly start being into girls (or guys, bc that had enough media attention at that point where I was dimly aware lol).

It was only thanks to the internet- I think posts about it during pride month- that I even learned about asexuality as a concept. If nobody talked about that kind of stuff at all, I'd still probably be feeling like I was supposed to feel physically attracted towards people yet for some reason didn't.

The second reason, is for equal rights. We don't live in a perfect world, and people discriminate against others. And you can't just hide everything- you can be quiet about it, sure, but for example: if you're gay, and in a committed relationship, people are going to notice it the same way they'd notice if you're in a committed relationship with someone of the opposite gender. And many people have backwards views that would cause them to discriminate against you for that. One shouldn't have to be afraid that if their boss finds out they're gay, they'll lose their job.

We have protections against discrimination for that, but those protections didn't come into existance because people were quiet about that. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, so to speak. And same goes for gay marriage- that was only a relatively recent change, but it would not have happened if not for gay people making their presence known and demanding they should have the same rights to marriage as hetero couples.

As much as I'd love to be in a world where we don't need to worry about all that anymore because we have those rights now, there's still a lot of people in positions of power who hold a lot of unjust prejudice against lgbtq folk. Especially with the current state of politics here in the USA. And I don't see that changing anytime too soon, either.

2ugly2live

I think if that was the case, Ace people would just stick to "sure things?"

e$tGyr#J2pqM8v

I don't think this is implied. The idea is probably that, like so many things, it's on a spectrum and 'asexual' would describe one end of the spectrum. But I must admit, I do somewhat share your sentiment, I've read lots of things by self-proclaimed asexuals in which I recognize myself, but I also think I have a quite average sexdrive. It makes me wonder if some people aren't just a bit too eager to define themselves as different from the norm. I'm not talking about the further end of the spectrum, but there are those that really aren't that different from your average person, but seem to want a box to fit in. Not that I care, go ahead, define yourself whatever way you want, if you want to think that your different go ahead, it really doesn't bother me, and who knows maybe you're right, who am I to tell you you're wrong?

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Reproduction is a fundamental driving force in human behavior. I refuse to believe there are truly asexual people who aren’t neurodivergent.