As GroveSocial does this for many more sites than a normal company, we took the five minutes to assemble and test a one liner for upgrading NodeBB. Wanted to post here for anyone searching. Obviously take a database backup first (depends on what database...
@julian never mind, I have figured out that another plugin make it unable to load.
So we have 2 plugin which not compatible with new version
I will make a topic to inform this