Root post for #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

if the little girl is being turned into a rock why dont they turn to the rocks natural enemy, paper, or idk dynamite, we have options we know how to work with rocks #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

excuse me the fuck did he say? did he just say that rock looked lifeless? like it was an obvious quality for a rock to have? and others dont look lifeless? #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

ok which of you biochemists in the audience is gonna do a post-show lecture about all the stuff silicon does in the human body #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

they had a perfect opening to make coffee the activating agent but they took the cowards way out and went with water #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

so the rocks came to earth to drink all the water and eat all the silicon sure sure but when will they learn to talk and tell us what they believe #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

The rules for movies are currently

1) Don't have a kid carry the plot

this movie has forced another rule:

2) Don't let meteorologists talk

#monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

baby we still have 30 minutes left don't let the mid-action relief of the kid being de-rocked fool you, we're haven't even seen the rocks final form #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

if they don't make the rocks talk or do telepathy or something they will have made a grave mistake #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

another rule

3) Don't let pharmacists talk

#monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

the rocks also being able to drink electricity rules. i want this movie to be remade now that we have like.. computers and the internet and stuff #Monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

cool rock effects 10/10 #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

man getting news out to a town by one guy hand cranking a printing press and bribing kids to hand out the papers one by one. this is like affinity group zine distro levels of civic preparedness #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

dog if you had a rock hand you could totally just carve out joints and rig up your muscles to some exoskeletal wires and have the dopest mad max hands of all time #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

that doesnt look like it works the rock looks fine #Monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

the climax simply can't be fencing the rocks in with some salt #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

"you can't blow up the dam its privately owned" is such an incredible line, punching way above this movie's weight class #Monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

whatever happened to all the stuff they said about cleavage and silicon and whatnot its like they just totally forgot about the first half of the movie as soon as they discovered water #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

sequel for this movie is that a bunch of developers see the rocks as a bunch of cheap building materials and build a bunch of buildings out of it and then it turns out that they are telepathic and can grow through the internet and does all the things that this movie shoulda done #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

a monster movie isn't really a monster movie unless it's secretly about real estate #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

so the moral of this movie.. is... dont make dams... because the saltwater lakes serve as a buffer against unexpected runaway rock crystal growths #monsterdon