Root post for #monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

ok which of you biochemists in the audience is gonna do a post-show lecture about all the stuff silicon does in the human body #monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

they had a perfect opening to make coffee the activating agent but they took the cowards way out and went with water #monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

so the rocks came to earth to drink all the water and eat all the silicon sure sure but when will they learn to talk and tell us what they believe #monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

The rules for movies are currently

1) Don't have a kid carry the plot

this movie has forced another rule:

2) Don't let meteorologists talk

#monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

baby we still have 30 minutes left don't let the mid-action relief of the kid being de-rocked fool you, we're haven't even seen the rocks final form #monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

if they don't make the rocks talk or do telepathy or something they will have made a grave mistake #monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

another rule

3) Don't let pharmacists talk

#monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

the rocks also being able to drink electricity rules. i want this movie to be remade now that we have like.. computers and the internet and stuff #Monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

cool rock effects 10/10 #monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

man getting news out to a town by one guy hand cranking a printing press and bribing kids to hand out the papers one by one. this is like affinity group zine distro levels of civic preparedness #monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

dog if you had a rock hand you could totally just carve out joints and rig up your muscles to some exoskeletal wires and have the dopest mad max hands of all time #monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

that doesnt look like it works the rock looks fine #Monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

the climax simply can't be fencing the rocks in with some salt #monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

"you can't blow up the dam its privately owned" is such an incredible line, punching way above this movie's weight class #Monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

whatever happened to all the stuff they said about cleavage and silicon and whatnot its like they just totally forgot about the first half of the movie as soon as they discovered water #monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

sequel for this movie is that a bunch of developers see the rocks as a bunch of cheap building materials and build a bunch of buildings out of it and then it turns out that they are telepathic and can grow through the internet and does all the things that this movie shoulda done #monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

a monster movie isn't really a monster movie unless it's secretly about real estate #monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

so the moral of this movie.. is... dont make dams... because the saltwater lakes serve as a buffer against unexpected runaway rock crystal growths #monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

so wait problem solved? i thought that was just to buy them time. aren't all the rocks that didn't run into the lake still back there growing infinitely from some unknown fuel source? #monsterdon

jonny (good kind)

was there any message at all in that or was it just like "holy crap there were some rocks that were turning people into rocks but salt stops them the end"

i got like the tiniest whiffs of criticisms of environmental exploitation with the salt mines but they didn't do anything with it at all and everyone including the governor was fine with blowing up the dam #monsterdon