Root post for #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

i am yet again 6 minutes late to monsterdon and watching the intro at 2x speed but thanks to the powers of cheating and watching a little bit already i am up to speed on what meteors are #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

thank god there's like a 5 minute montage of this guy driving around and drinking water to skip through, i'm almost back up to speed already #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

holy hell how could they expose the rock to the flask full of SOLUTION like that every geologist knows that the only correct way to interact with unknown samples is simply to lick them and NEVER let them touch Solution #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

all rocks only want one thing* and it's fucking disgusting

*to be licked

#monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

i can't tell if it would be better for the rocks to have some elaborate world domination ideology or for them to just be rocks and they just turn people into rocks for no reason and there is never any antagonist at all #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

oh hell no you get that kid to a priest you don't let a haunted ass kid like that back in the house #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

please for the love of god let the villain of the movie be positive cleavage #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

who is good and who is bad

#monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

if the little girl is being turned into a rock why dont they turn to the rocks natural enemy, paper, or idk dynamite, we have options we know how to work with rocks #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

excuse me the fuck did he say? did he just say that rock looked lifeless? like it was an obvious quality for a rock to have? and others dont look lifeless? #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

ok which of you biochemists in the audience is gonna do a post-show lecture about all the stuff silicon does in the human body #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

they had a perfect opening to make coffee the activating agent but they took the cowards way out and went with water #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

so the rocks came to earth to drink all the water and eat all the silicon sure sure but when will they learn to talk and tell us what they believe #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

The rules for movies are currently

1) Don't have a kid carry the plot

this movie has forced another rule:

2) Don't let meteorologists talk

#monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

baby we still have 30 minutes left don't let the mid-action relief of the kid being de-rocked fool you, we're haven't even seen the rocks final form #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

if they don't make the rocks talk or do telepathy or something they will have made a grave mistake #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

another rule

3) Don't let pharmacists talk

#monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

the rocks also being able to drink electricity rules. i want this movie to be remade now that we have like.. computers and the internet and stuff #Monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

cool rock effects 10/10 #monsterdon

[jonny@neuromatch.social]

man getting news out to a town by one guy hand cranking a printing press and bribing kids to hand out the papers one by one. this is like affinity group zine distro levels of civic preparedness #monsterdon