Explain this, humankind
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gerudo@lemm.eereplied to Mossy Feathers (She/They) last edited by
Oh, I know a good chunk of this country seeing a brown skinned guy helping out the poor and being all woke and shit, would put him right back up on that cross.
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sergio@slrpnk.netreplied to Mossy Feathers (She/They) last edited by
That joke's been around since 1750 BC
Tell Ea-nasir: Nanni sends the following message:
When Jesus came, Jesus said to you as follows : "I will return when the time is right." Jesus left then but has not yet returned to you as promised. Now you look to my messenger (Sit-Sin) and ask: "Why, then, has Jesus not returned?"
What do you take me for, that Jesus would not return to me after visiting? Would you treat somebody like Jesus with such contempt? I have sent as messengers gentlemen like ourselves to invite Jesus to return several times, and that through enemy territory. Is there anyone among the merchants who trade with Telmun to whom Jesus has not returned?
You alone ask why this is so! Take cognizance that (from now on) Jesus shall exercise against you the right of rejection if you have treated him with contempt. How did you treat Jesus when he visited?
Translated from the original Akkadian: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/complaint-tablet-to-ea-nasir (er... this is a joke btw)
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Is god also jesus and the holy spirit all at once?
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lost_my_mind@lemmy.worldreplied to flocklesscrow@lemm.ee last edited by
Actually, he only cums once a year.
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lost_my_mind@lemmy.worldreplied to Mossy Feathers (She/They) last edited by
God creates earth. God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys god. Man creates dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.
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acockworkorange@mander.xyzreplied to sergio@slrpnk.net last edited by
Top tier joke, mate.
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He is whatever you want them to be.
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đ° đ đą đĻ đŗ đĻ đ° âšī¸replied to cm0002@lemmy.world last edited by
Jesus ain't coming back until people stop wearing crosses around their neck, scaring him away.
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deadbeef79000@lemmy.nzreplied to lost_my_mind@lemmy.world last edited by
Life, uh, finds a way.
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Ah, yes, the holy Trinity.
The only thing that made less sense than a virgin birth or resurrection.
It still doesn't make sense. Like from a narrative view either. It doesn't help the story, or the belief it's just a useless... Thing?
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loaexmachina@sh.itjust.worksreplied to asbestos@lemmy.world last edited by
I second this.
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dohpaz42@lemmy.worldreplied to AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet last edited by
Youâve got a strange definition of love. That sounds like manipulation to me.
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cerement@slrpnk.netreplied to peoplebeproblems@midwest.social last edited by
a virgin birth
parthenogenesis â Jesus is a clone of Mary â which also make him canonically a trans man
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the perfect push over the edge for the doubting christian in your life: was Jesus trans or was Mary an adulterer?
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saharamaleikuhm@feddit.orgreplied to cm0002@lemmy.world last edited by
Explanation: humans suck
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There's a sci-fi book series called Hyperion where one of the main fucuses of the far-future theocratic government is to search for signs and symbolism of Jesus on other planets. Since if you find an alien species worshipping Jesus or using cross symbolism, you've all but proven that God exists.
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theangryseal@lemmy.worldreplied to Subverb last edited by
Will be reading this if you think itâs worth it.
Iâm a huge fan of classic sci-fi (Asimov, Heinlein). How does it hold up?
And before someone eats me alive about Heinlein, Iâve heard it all. Been a fan since I was a kid and the ideological side of it doesnât matter to me as much as the stories these days. Iâm an atheist because of authors like him. I wouldnât take it back for anything.
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xorollo@leminal.spacereplied to theangryseal@lemmy.world last edited by
Hyperion was a fun read. Definitely recommend. I had a small book club and it was fun to talk about.
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Subverbreplied to theangryseal@lemmy.world last edited by
If you like old school scifi you'll probably like it. It's a grand opera. Prolog to the first book is online here:
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tacosocks@infosec.pubreplied to đ° đ đą đĻ đŗ đĻ đ° âšī¸ last edited by
Jesus is a vampire?
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