Every single time

[tfw_no_toiletpaper@lemmy.world]

Because its

and I am glad that most here dont find it relatable

[obi@sopuli.xyz]

Wife bad amirite fellas upvotes to the left <-

[croquette@sh.itjust.works]

You look them in the eye and kiss them tenderly. It might be their kink.

[croquette@sh.itjust.works]

Codependency. Lots of people can't stand to be by themselves so they'd rather be in a terrible relationship than being alone.

[2ugly2live@lemmy.world]

I wonder if she gets quiet because she's brought up the same, exact issue multiple times and she's tired of her concerns being invalidated and forgotten as "women, am I right?"

This can go both ways. She could be upset he's not a mind reader, or she could be upset that he doesn't give a fuck. A " Schrodinger's Douchebag" if you will.

[croquette@sh.itjust.works]

If my partner is having an issue they can't properly express, how I am supposed to somehow magically know what they need? That's some Disney shit.

If my partner is upset, I will 100% try to find a solution with them. But if they get mad at me for not understanding what they feel because they don't understand it themselves, you bet that I won't let that roll.

And it's also okay to say "I'm upset and I don't know why exactly". It's a starting point to resolve the issue.

[horse_battery_staple@lemmy.world]

It doesn't matter they can't initially properly express it. It matters that you create enough space for them to express frustration and help them work through it. Or you're always going to have to deal with them blowong up. Because they can't feel like they can talk to you. There's no pressure release valve.

But if they get mad at me for not understanding what they feel because they don’t understand it themselves, you bet that I won’t let that roll.

So you escalate the situation instead?

If they're just pissed, they're pissed. It's not personal. Unless you did indeed fuck up, then don't be defensive and figure out why. This isn't debate team, there are no points, there is no winner. You absolutely will have to "let it roll" so that that they feel confident in "letting it roll" when you're being irrational and frustrated.

Big caveat here of course when it comes to irrational anger, if it's abusive, leave the room|house|state if possible. Also, know that there are mutual aid networks to help with that. If you feel you're in an abusive relationship call the hotline.

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Everyone deserves relationships free from domestic violence. When you're ready, we're here to listen with confidential support 24/7/365.

The Hotline (www.thehotline.org)

[horse_battery_staple@lemmy.world]

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Everyone deserves relationships free from domestic violence. When you're ready, we're here to listen with confidential support 24/7/365.

The Hotline (www.thehotline.org)

[spankmonkey@lemmy.world]

No, there are a number of women (and men) who get mad because someone didn't read their mind about what they wanted. It only becomes shitty when people assume it applies to everyone of one gender.

[nl4real@lemmy.world]

OK Boomer.

[geedubhayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com]

It may not have been a verbal demand but they’ve absolutely told you that something is wrong.

Devil's advocate: perhaps. But, then all you know is something is wrong, not what. And when asking clarifying questions, like, oh say "what's wrong?" makes the situation worse? Guess i should paid more attention in Mind Reading at Hogwarts...

[ininewcrow@lemmy.ca]

That's not a relationship .... that's Stockholm syndrome

[horse_battery_staple@lemmy.world]

oh say “what’s wrong?” makes the situation worse? Guess i should paid more attention in Mind Reading at Hogwarts…

I don't think this is a productive way to think of your partner. I also don't think you've read my comment replies.

If you're having trouble communicating with your partner, and you get defensive about it, you're going to have bigger problems than just "mind reading" as you call it.

[cidvicious@sh.itjust.works]

Another one for the blocklist

[croquette@sh.itjust.works]

I don't escalate, but I tell my partner that her behavior is not acceptable, and she does the same to me.

Being pissed isn't a free pass to be a dick to your partner. If they are pissed and they come to you, then they don't get to be pissy with you.

If they can't do that, they can go take a five and come back after. It's the same thing we teach children.

In the case I fucked up, I apologize and make amends. Again, it isn't a free pass for my partner to berate me.

And my partner expects the same from me.

[horse_battery_staple@lemmy.world]

I think we're misunderstanding each other. You're using combattive and defensive language and then assuming that I'm allowing someone to berate me. That's different than what happens. There needs to be open communication about how your partner makes you feel and what language they use. But coming at this from a punitive or paternal angle is just ick.

[klnsfw@lemmynsfw.com]

Yeah ! Misogyny ! Welcome to my block list, OP !

[chiliedogg@lemmy.world]

Then what they need is to no longer be in the relationship.

[fritobugger2017@lemmy.world]

OP is a douche

[kylie_kraft@lemmy.world]

girl bad