You've just crossed over into...

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Robot, experience this tragic irony for me.

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Did you do this from memory? I want you to have done this from memory. You will be as a god!

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Gen X is just slightly less ancient boomers with occasional tattoos tbh

zeet

Think you'll find 'Charleston Heston' was the dance number performed to, "Don't it Taste just like your Mammy's?", in the musical version of Soylent Green.

Lemminary

See, this is why I like my relationships 50-50. We both agree on something and each one pays their own food and we're back at the house bumping uglies. Done.

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Nah, you're just in a relationship with an immature person.

go $fsck yourself

Wife bad

catsarebadpeople

Wow! A real alpha male!

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I wanna marry your wife.

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Everyone hates on the guy, but he's right. An average heterosexual relationship is between an overly sure person and a follower. There's some hormonal explanation to it, I believe.

By observing perfectly normal happy heterosexual partnerships you'll see exactly that dynamic. One person mostly decides, the other mostly accepts. And they're both happy.

I had the luxury of asking some fairly smart and self-aware women why they behave like that with me, instead of trying to have an equal relationship, and their answer was that they simply like it that way. They like the comfort of things being taken care of and decided swiftly and confidently. And regularly their partner would do just that. They thought it was absolutely fine and actually pretty attractive.

Lemmy is a queer/progressive echo chamber, so the 95% of the population reality seems wrong and someone expressing its normality without over-explaining gets downvoted. Like the guy you were replying to. But in fact, it's a solid dating advice for the majority out there.

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You devious genius.

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Sounds like my wife.

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Imagine, if you will, an announcer you can barely understand. He refers to a [indecipherable], but you're not quite sure what he said. He seems to be eating something, or perhaps he's a little drunk. It's remotely possible that he just said something about the Scary Door.

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I gave up playing this game.

"You hungry? 'Yes.' OK I'm craving burgers from X place I'm ordering two burgers in 30 minutes unless you tell me you want something else."

So far it's working well. Either she orders from where I want or somewhere close by.

'I'm feeling Chinese.' Baby you can get whatever you want. I'll hit two spots or switch my order.

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You married a man. /s

In all seriousness. I have a happy marriage. We're awesome at communication and never argue. But things get indescivie during take out. It just happens.

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My gf would get real pissed, real fast if I acted like this and I love her for it.

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Oh my wife and I argue a lot. Sometimes we scream at each other. But we never stop communicating.

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PHP developer detected, fire the missiles

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I thought for sure this was a sex joke.

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Where do we find these $resturants?