Explain this, humankind

[gerudo@lemm.ee]

Oh, I know a good chunk of this country seeing a brown skinned guy helping out the poor and being all woke and shit, would put him right back up on that cross.

[sergio@slrpnk.net]

That joke's been around since 1750 BC

Tell Ea-nasir: Nanni sends the following message:

When Jesus came, Jesus said to you as follows : "I will return when the time is right." Jesus left then but has not yet returned to you as promised. Now you look to my messenger (Sit-Sin) and ask: "Why, then, has Jesus not returned?"

What do you take me for, that Jesus would not return to me after visiting? Would you treat somebody like Jesus with such contempt? I have sent as messengers gentlemen like ourselves to invite Jesus to return several times, and that through enemy territory. Is there anyone among the merchants who trade with Telmun to whom Jesus has not returned?

You alone ask why this is so! Take cognizance that (from now on) Jesus shall exercise against you the right of rejection if you have treated him with contempt. How did you treat Jesus when he visited?

Translated from the original Akkadian: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/complaint-tablet-to-ea-nasir (er... this is a joke btw)

[atro_city@fedia.io]

Is god also jesus and the holy spirit all at once?

[lost_my_mind@lemmy.world]

Actually, he only cums once a year.

[lost_my_mind@lemmy.world]

God creates earth. God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys god. Man creates dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.

[acockworkorange@mander.xyz]

Top tier joke, mate.

[diplomjodler3@lemmy.world]

He is whatever you want them to be.

[kolanaki@yiffit.net]

Jesus ain't coming back until people stop wearing crosses around their neck, scaring him away.

[deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz]

Life, uh, finds a way.

[peoplebeproblems@midwest.social]

Ah, yes, the holy Trinity.

The only thing that made less sense than a virgin birth or resurrection.

It still doesn't make sense. Like from a narrative view either. It doesn't help the story, or the belief it's just a useless... Thing?

[loaexmachina@sh.itjust.works]

I second this.

[dohpaz42@lemmy.world]

You’ve got a strange definition of love. That sounds like manipulation to me.

[cerement@slrpnk.net]

a virgin birth

parthenogenesis – Jesus is a clone of Mary – which also make him canonically a trans man

[lime@feddit.nu]

the perfect push over the edge for the doubting christian in your life: was Jesus trans or was Mary an adulterer?

[saharamaleikuhm@feddit.org]

Explanation: humans suck

[subverb@lemmy.world]

There's a sci-fi book series called Hyperion where one of the main fucuses of the far-future theocratic government is to search for signs and symbolism of Jesus on other planets. Since if you find an alien species worshipping Jesus or using cross symbolism, you've all but proven that God exists.

[theangryseal@lemmy.world]

Will be reading this if you think it’s worth it.

I’m a huge fan of classic sci-fi (Asimov, Heinlein). How does it hold up?

And before someone eats me alive about Heinlein, I’ve heard it all. Been a fan since I was a kid and the ideological side of it doesn’t matter to me as much as the stories these days. I’m an atheist because of authors like him. I wouldn’t take it back for anything.

[xorollo@leminal.space]

Hyperion was a fun read. Definitely recommend. I had a small book club and it was fun to talk about.

[subverb@lemmy.world]

If you like old school scifi you'll probably like it. It's a grand opera. Prolog to the first book is online here:

KindleClose

(read.amazon.com)

[tacosocks@infosec.pub]

Jesus is a vampire?