Daddy

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Nope, not at all. My parents berated me until I was 35 to "wait until you're ready to have kids."
Then they were like, why are you waiting to have grandkids?! You've been married for 5 years!!!

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Oh I have. I had a coworker who used to brag that when his daughter had a date, he would open his garage door and start cleaning his guns so the kid would see him.

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Was he Rodney Atkins?

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This was long before I was alive, but apparently when my sister committed the act for the first time, she came home to my mom, who took a look at her and said "ohhh, she had seeeexxxxxxx!"

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their daughter can have kids, but only in a mary and joseph kind of way

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The second one, you know where the parents genuinely love their kids

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These occur at different life stages for children

Teenager years, "Don't touch my daughter." / "Don't impregnate anyone."

Mid twenty and later, "Grandbabies please."

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Yeah my fear is that my kids will be like every teenager since the dawn of humanity and not care that much about long-term consequences.

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I had an uncle say shit like this to me. Weird family.

I Cast Fist

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That's one weird thing in human, evolutionary: teenagers already get the drive (even more so than later) but the mind and body is not yet ready.

Wait, is that why we have parents and grandparents?

Sorry, weird topic.

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So if she blows you..?

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I 100% believe this is correct. Parents never seem ready, but damn those grandparents are!

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my uncle had some beaver testicles hanging in his basement and he'd tell his daughter's boyfriends that they were the balls of all her exes who tried anything.

my dad sat in the living room cleaning his pistol on his lap while interrogating me about my boyfriend when i was 21 and on my own.

this stuff happens and it's gross