Just being polite
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It's more of a British thing, but "alright mate?" is used as a greeting. If someone takes it literally and tells me how they are, then that's super cool, because it just saves me asking my second question.
That said, on the few occasions I've visited the US, I've greeted someone with an "alright dude" and they've looked at me a bit puzzled like "...yes?" which is cool too.
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Speaking from a US cultural standpoint, most people don't do this though. Because of this if someone asks "how are you doing?," there is a script that runs in my brain that just translates it to mean "Hello."
There's nothing more soul crushing than showing emotional vulnerability and then promptly being told you're a burden and have misinterpreted abstract social signals. Always better to just...not
I, on the other hand make it a point to brutality answer the intended question for shock and awe value in the hopes people stop being so stupid asking those questions. It's always fun seeing people panic and thinking where they can go hide to stop hearing about all the uncomfortable stuff I'm telling.
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It's more of a British thing, but "alright mate?" is used as a greeting. If someone takes it literally and tells me how they are, then that's super cool, because it just saves me asking my second question.
That said, on the few occasions I've visited the US, I've greeted someone with an "alright dude" and they've looked at me a bit puzzled like "...yes?" which is cool too.
I don't know what your talking about, I live in the most American part of America (That being Texas of course) and we use "How ya' doin'. All right" all the time.
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How are you bro?
welp our country is imploding
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How are you bro?
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It's more of a British thing, but "alright mate?" is used as a greeting. If someone takes it literally and tells me how they are, then that's super cool, because it just saves me asking my second question.
That said, on the few occasions I've visited the US, I've greeted someone with an "alright dude" and they've looked at me a bit puzzled like "...yes?" which is cool too.
? American's aren't expecting a literal response, it's a greeting here as well. I think you misread the speaker, or more likely, they misread you. Maybe they thought Brits would take it as a literal question?
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I often answer the question, but only a sentence or two. Then I ask what's up with them.
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I don't know what your talking about, I live in the most American part of America (That being Texas of course) and we use "How ya' doin'. All right" all the time.
“How you doing” and “appreciate you” are different though than someone straight out asking “you okay?”
Some times it can sound like you are somehow presenting that you are not ok and can throw you off.
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You can answer honestly but it's a greeting, not an invitation to take over the whole conversation to talk about yourself.
Them: "How are you doing"
You: "Pretty bad to be honest, but I'm hanging in there"
And from there you either get:
Them: "I'm sorry to hear that I hope it gets better"
You: "Thanks"
Them: "So I wanted to ask about your TPS reports..."
Or :
Them: "Oh no, what's going on?"
You: "Well I'm having a lot of mental health issues..."
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Sameisch here, but we don't talk much if i don't want to know how you are doing.
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“How you doing” and “appreciate you” are different though than someone straight out asking “you okay?”
Some times it can sound like you are somehow presenting that you are not ok and can throw you off.
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Def sounds like context. If someone lobs a “you okay”? I take more concern but I can dig it. Different strokes for dif folks
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For me, I find this happens:
"Hi, did you find everything ok?"
"Good".
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Good. That'll teach them not to ask such deep questions of a stranger. If they want to get all personal with someone who doesn't know them, they should face consequences.
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Ah yes, I had forgotten the basics of the internet here! You're absolutely right, inflections matter - and that's absolutely what's probably causing the confusion.
I generally greet with an upward inflection, generally found in questions and essential in most Latin languages.
It does throw people. Generally resolved with a bit of friendly politeness and writing it off to the accent.
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Man that's all super cool. Sounds like you're having a rough time of it - but as with most things, "this too shall pass".
That said, if you've taken the time to answer me, then I'm not going to handwave your issues away with a soundbite. Looking inwards is a tough skill, and I don't want anyone to feel that nobody's listening. Your cat for example, I was never a pet person until I started keeping rodents. I used to look at things from a purely financial point of view, where if the cost of treatment was greater than the value of the cat, then it was goodnight time. Now, having had pets large and small, my view on it has changed. I'd have fought the fuckin' world for my £12 hamster on his last days, but I was fortunate to have had the hamster make the decision for me.
If the vets have run out of ideas, then that sucks. Vets are some of the most compassionate people I know (not that my contact list is awash with them), but I'd trust them if they're shrugging their shoulders. I hope the cat comes round though, and if it doesn't, then you give it the best fuckin' time it has left.
Self employment is a tough one. Firstly, congrats on running your own business - that takes balls and a lot of personal and professional management skills. I've run a small area of a business before and it made my head spin. It was almost a breath of fresh air when I handed it on to someone else and went back to salaried employment, like a massive weight off my shoulders. Sure, you get to ride the waves of the good times and high demand... but the tough times are even tougher without a guaranteed income. I understand bro. I hope it picks up for you.
As for your mental health, stay on your feet and look beyond what's happening now. Everyone's depression is different and I'm not going to insult you by giving you a cookie cutter answer. I'm wary of adding to your workload too, but I've found running or swimming to give me the time to think about shit and get my head in order while doing some good to myself; going out for a coffee and people watching from a place with a nice view, to put my own issues into perspective and try and manage them in terms of scale; or even taking on a short course in something random like a language, crochet, or soldering - something to give you a random distraction each week.
Either way, I'm thrilled that you're here and that you're speaking. I hope you and your cat find a path into tomorrow, then next week, then next month, and beyond. I'm happy you talked about yourself, which is something we as a collective don't often do - so that's awesome of you.
Take care, and I wish you the best dude.
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For me, I find this happens:
"Hi, did you find everything ok?"
"Good".
I usually just updog.
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For me, I find this happens:
"Hi, did you find everything ok?"
"Good".
"Thank you, come again!"
"You too!"
🤮
