@cregox While comparing/contrasting NodeBB to other products can be healthy if the intention is to uplift the community or provide positive feedback/criticism; saying "NodeBB is doing it wrong because Discourse does it like this" is not really helpful for the community. Many forums implement a stricter ruleset on new users--it's a common trust system where respect is earned.
NodeBB is open source, and if you are not happy with it's current iteration feel free to fork it and change it to fit your personal needs. Or if you are pleased with Discourse and prefer the direction their developers have taken, it too is open source.
But the two products are very different--yes they solve the same issue but with very different personalities. I started with Discourse, ran a forum on it for a while, had lots of backend troubles and spam issues..finally moved to NodeBB and I've been happy with it. Do I miss things from Discourse? Sometimes. But I can't complain knowing that I have access to the source code and can change anything I want.
And if you are not technically inclined, I assume if you hosted your forum through NodeBB.org their development team would be more than happy to tweak your forum until it suits your personal needs.