general reminder that everyone has a red flag or two about them it's when they start adding up that you should be concerned
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general reminder that everyone has a red flag or two about them it's when they start adding up that you should be concerned
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i've known people who were abused multiple times in previously relationships, and said the red flag line "every one of my exes has been abusive" but they were not an abusive person. the point of a red flag is to alert you that something might be wrong.
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if they were to then go ahead from there, and say other things like talking shit about everyone that they used to know that's another red flag etc.
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some people call these things "yellow flags" but personally I believe that it's okay to have a couple red flags. I think another thing that's relevant is that you won't necessarily agree with every action another person does. you should never aim to "never disagree". there's a healthy amount of disagreements and then there's an unhealthy amount. there's being able to respectfully disagree and still be friends and there's ruining a friendship over someone liking coke over pepsi
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Sterling Manor 🧠(Piper)replied to Amber 🌸 last edited by
@[email protected] I think it's also worth scrutinizing how often 'red flags' overlap with tendencies displayed by trauma survivors- Some people who say "Every one of my exes were abusive" are genuinely just avoiding accountability, but so many people have genuinely experienced this because they've been very badly hurt and abusers seek out already traumatized people because they're easier to exploit. Victims can even subconsciously seek out those dynamics again because they're familiar. This can become a horrible cycle. This can go for a LOT of things that people tend to dismiss as always being Warning Signs
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@puppygirlhornypost2 ok no but preferring coke over pepsi is a pretty big red flag
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@[email protected] what do you have against me
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@kali @puppygirlhornypost2 maybe the worst take I've ever heard
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Vivisector "The Mom of Fedi" :veryfriedegg:replied to Amber 🌸 last edited by@puppygirlhornypost2 I think that's what makes it difficult. Some people exhibit bad behaviors but it's because they're flawed and we make mistakes and we've been through shit.
I think I personally give people way too much benefit of the doubt.
It's easy to justify things in hindsight, but what's the line between "they have no friends because people are shitty because they're different" and they have no friends because they routinely abuse everyone around them" ?
The thing is you just cannot know at first
I've been hurt a lot
And maybe I'm better off being a little more cautious
But also I'd rather not just become closed off and suspicious of everyone or not give anyone any leeway at all because I think if I'm careful I'll never get hurt again
