A lesson some need to learn

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Why don't you believe that you can learn or get better at things?

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Find a different behavior to replace it is the easiest in my experience. But not every apology worthy behavior has an alternative or replacement.

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think an apology is a 'get out of jail free'

Well, 'forgive' and 'forget' aren't the same.

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That apologies in mere words are so useful that all corporations have some specialists to do just that?

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There are just so many variables and ways to respond and interact that I manage to select the wrong ones all the time. In an ideal situation, I would stop and weigh the options of every single thing I do and say at any given moment in order to figure out the correct course of action. But that just isn't feasible. And I never realize when I'm supposed to stop and think until it's too late.

Like today, I wanted to keep my coworker informed about some case she will have to deal with in the morning. So I sent her a long text. But that was wrong and bad because it was bothering someone with a life at home. It was only hours later that I realized that I had an alternative. I could have handwritten out a letter on the case and stuck it where she would see instead of being invasive and bothersome outside of the workplace.

I have learned some things over time, but sadly there are just an infinite number of scenarios and things and ways I'm supposed to interact and I just can't figure them all out.

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People go through that all the time. It's normal. What matters is your learning. It sounds like you did learn.

Also, maybe they don't care about the text? Some people care some people don't. But probably better for it to be an email / note. Not a big deal either way. Just learn and don't ruminate on it. Everyone goes through it.

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Franklin

the way I've always put it is you have an idea of who you want to be and you have to work to be that person every day and it's okay to fall it's okay to fail but it's important that you keep trying.

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So what made you think this was advice meant for corporations?

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Yeah, this kept tripping me up. I tried to be better but was always falling short and kept getting called out on promises not fulfilled. So I just stopped apologizing.

What I'm trying to say is, if a kid keeps failing to deliver on those promises constantly the parent might need to make a change in there. If not then all is dandy.

Lenny

My dad would always say "don't say sorry, DO sorry". The apology will be present in your words and actions.

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I did not. I'm using corporations as an example to explain "how things usually work". What other part of my original comment did you not understand if that was not the part you're questioning?

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And you bet that forgiveness benefits you the most. It doesn't. If someone says sorry rarely, never changes, and you are taught to keep being compassionate... you are going to lose your ability to care about people. Better to stay alert, because that person will hurt you again.

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A better father also wouldn't mix up "then" and "than"

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There are people whose entire modus operandi is to not give a shit about others in their choices and actions, apologize when challenged about it and carry on doing the same.

Their "apologizing" is just a confrontation-avoidance technique, not a genuine expression of regret.

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I didn't even notice that smh my head

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That's why I never apologize!

Victor

I think that's just one notch above what's necessary.

An apology is a promise to [try to] do better next time.

You might fail again, but it doesn't mean you did the wrong thing, necessarily. But if you didn't even try, then

irelephant 🍭

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"I'm sorry, that's just the way I am!"