A lesson some need to learn

[lowleveldata@lemmy.world]

I'm not sure if it is wise to give advice that is the opposite of how things usually work

[codexarcanum@lemmy.dbzer0.com]

LOOK WHAT THEY NEED TO MIMIC A FRACTION OF OUR APOLOGIES

[rqg@lemmy.world]

That's what I teach my kids. If you apologize and do it again it doesn't count as an apology. An apology is a promise to do better next time.

[crazi_man@lemm.ee]

Unless you work in a customer facing role......then you throw out apologies all over the place to calm people down. Never need to act on the apology. Just need to get through the shift. Management isn't going to change the structures that cause the poor experience anyway.

[barkingspiders@infosec.pub]

I really like this perspective, thanks for sharing!

[industrystandard@lemmy.world]

What about paying a small fine which is a fraction of the profits you made from the crime?

[yarharsuperstar@lemmy.world]

What do you mean?

[halfsalesman@lemm.ee]

Assuming we're talking about a friend/acquaintance, a person can be genuinely sorry but sort of be too dim to meaningfully improve their behavior. That said, if they don't at least give a good faith effort to improve then my patience will wear thin and I'll probably want to be around them as little as possible, even if I end up ultimately forgiving them on the emotional side of things.

[apathytree@lemmy.dbzer0.com]

I used to do that, but I stopped because I’m trying to be less of a people-pleasing doormat in general. Plus people don’t like empty apologies from company reps anyway.. it often led to more hostility. Apologizing also tends to give to the impression that they are right to be pissy whiny assholes, which isn’t something that should be encouraged at all.

Instead, I started saying “I very much understand your frustration; let’s see what we can do to get this resolved for you.” This makes you and the customer (psychologically) a team against the problem, and they are less likely to go off on you.

I definitely stole that tactic from car salespeople. And it works super well.

[lugal@sopuli.xyz]

Sometimes it's wise to give advice how things should work

[fenririii@lemmy.world]

Likewise, if someone genuinely apologizes and tries to make it right, stop shitting on them. Too many people view apologies as weakness and admitting fault for events that are sometimes out of your hands.

[rizzrustbolt@lemmy.world]

Could have picked a better father...

[brickhead92@lemmy.world]

That depends on how small a fraction of the profits are paid, smaller fraction = more sorry.

[billiamboberts@lemmy.world]

You're right, I should have mentioned I am referring to the same repeated bad behavior and people who keep apologizing for it again and again as if that makes it all better, rather than making meaningful change. An apology is meaningless without action to back it up.

[caseyweederman@lemmy.ca]

On the contrary, one of my favorite meme mutations is the subversion of the intent of the original media or meme itself. Like the "can you please call HR", "hello human resources" one. Or bonehurtingjuice on the whole.

[dingus@lemmy.world]

How do I become a better person and stop doing it? I find I am constantly making mistakes and bothering people. I think a solution to this would be to stop interacting with people as a whole so my presence isn't harming anyone, but that often isn't really feasible. Like at work I often have to interact with people to do my job for example.

[corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca]

Nope. If buddy does the thing again, he gets a Hey Buddy talk to remind him he's over the line. You still have to be that proper friend as long as you can.

[asdfasdfasdf@lemmy.world]

Why don't you believe that you can learn or get better at things?

[spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone]

Find a different behavior to replace it is the easiest in my experience. But not every apology worthy behavior has an alternative or replacement.

[corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca]

think an apology is a 'get out of jail free'

Well, 'forgive' and 'forget' aren't the same.