I was recently called a misandrist for the first time in my life.

Broadwaybabyto

I was recently called a misandrist for the first time in my life. Why? Because I told a man that men needed to “behave better”. He screamed “not all men!” At me and then demanded I show more deference and acknowledgement that there are “good guys out there”.

This was someone I considered a friend - so I tried to explain that of course there are good guys - but we don’t know who they are. We have to approach EVERY man with caution because of the constant threat of rape and abuse.

I explained that’s why we say men have privilege - because they don’t have to move through life with that constant threat. They don’t have to be on guard ALL the time. They aren’t judged by what they wear, how many kids they have, how much they drink or how late they were out at night.

He proceeded to school me that he in fact experienced No benefit from being a man. He genuinely could not comprehend that I wasn’t saying he didn’t work hard or earn whatever he had - just that it would have been HARDER had he been a woman or marginalized in another way.

Nope. I was told I hate men and that we could no longer be friends.

guys - please don’t do this. I kept my cool and tried to gently explain where I was coming from only to get berated and repeatedly told that if I didn’t do exactly as he wanted - the friendship would be cut off.

This dude proved my point and couldn’t even see it.

We KNOW it’s not all men - but it’s too many men. And we DON’T know who the safe ones are.

I’m debating writing an article about this - especially considering disabled women are far more likely to experience abuse. I’m just not sure it “fits” with Disabled Ginger. Though reproductive health is certainly something I will be diving in to.

Thoughts? Is it too far removed from my normal topics?

#giselepelicot #notallmen #toomanymen #metoo #rape #abuse #misogyny #patriarchy #fuckthepatriarchy #shamemustchangesides #discrimination #womensrights #womenshealth #believewoman

Gemini6Ice

@broadwaybabyto this is your corner of the internet. I don’t think you have any obligation to stick to “usual topics.” You should post whatever you FEEL LIKE posting. 🧡

Broadwaybabyto

@gemini6ice aww thank you! I overthink this stuff in a BIG way. I’m always like “will it make readers mad?”

But at the same time it’s who I am and I don’t want to hide that from readers!

Gemini6Ice

@broadwaybabyto right, if we the readers get mad, that’s OUR problem

Gemini6Ice

@broadwaybabyto but also it’s so easy to scroll past something we find uninteresting

Broadwaybabyto

@gemini6ice you would think and yet I so often get the meanest comments. Not much on here (knock wood) but people have actually taken the time to subscribe just to leave hateful remarks on articles. Disappointing to say the least.

Jess👾

@broadwaybabyto
"Not all men", sure. But all of the men who get really and say things like "not all men"...

Esther Payne :bisexual_flag:

@broadwaybabyto I think it still fits in with your blog.

There's no excuse for him doing that to you because of his "hurt feelings".

Broadwaybabyto

@onepict thank you!

Maggie Maybe

@broadwaybabyto @gemini6ice oh that’s because you are a disability advocate and most healthy people hate disabled people because we remind them of what’s coming for them

Esther Payne :bisexual_flag:

@broadwaybabyto NP, I grew up around disability. It's interesting reviewing those memories and seeing the ableism and misogyny there.

So it absolutely fits your blog, plus it's your blog and your lived experience. It's authentic. Anyone who tries to tell you different is telling you a little bit about themselves.