"Trump keeps providing himself with potential exit ramps from the Sept.
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William Lindsey :toad:replied to lolonurse last edited by
@lolonurse I went off to grad school in 1978, as an "oldster" of 28. I had spent a few years doing this or that before I decided to pursue graduate studies. Then I took a full-time job in 1984 while completing my dissertation, and finished it in, I think, 1987 and got my Ph.D. then. You and I are contemporaries!
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lolonursereplied to William Lindsey :toad: last edited by
@wdlindsy
When we look back at our families with the "new" information of today, some things seem so plain. But they were so taboo to most. We had neighbors who were just the nicest people. After the wife died, the husband, 80 years old, came out. Apparently the wife & daughter knew, but kept his secret until she died. It was kind of obvious to us, but only bc we had "out" people in our family. What a way to have to live one's life, holding one's breath... -
lolonursereplied to William Lindsey :toad: last edited by
@wdlindsy
Cool! I think we were born in the best year. -
William Lindsey :toad:replied to lolonurse last edited by
@lolonurse So it appears — a good year, whose wine has aged well.
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William Lindsey :toad:replied to lolonurse last edited by
@lolonurse Yes, that's right. My husband had a cousin who married, fathered umpteen children, and all the while was living a very promiscuous gay life with partners who included Rock Hudson. He had no choice — as with Hudson — except to come out when he contracted AIDS and, sadly, then died of it. Many people have never understood that a majority of gay men in many places in the world have always lived on the down-low, and may still do so.
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lolonursereplied to William Lindsey :toad: last edited by
@wdlindsy
That's why I feel 'lucky' that there were lgbt people in my life all my life, so there was no shock except the shock of realization that there were people who had "opinions" about this. -
lolonursereplied to William Lindsey :toad: last edited by
@wdlindsy
Well, I don't like wine, beer, liquor (except occasional nice aged tequila, maybe a spiced rum - but we're talking maybe once every year or 2, on my birthday). How about a nicely aged... chocolate?, ice cream?, Brie? -
lolonursereplied to William Lindsey :toad: last edited by
@wdlindsy
My dad worked with 2 wonderful architects - one of them helped my parents design their house. When their children were in high school & college, they both came out to their wives & kids. One moved to the Bahamas, built a snazzy house, the other I believe had a relationship already, and moved to Connecticut. That was in the very late 60's or '71/72. -
William Lindsey :toad:replied to lolonurse last edited by
@lolonurse So many stories like that, a plethora. My brother married, had four children, and on his 30th wedding anniversary told his wife he's gay and has always known this, and ended the marriage. This came as quite a shock to me, his brother who had been openly gay for years, but with whom he had never talked about his own self-understanding.
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William Lindsey :toad:replied to lolonurse last edited by
@lolonurse Chocolate, ice cream, Brie all work for me, too. I love a good aged Gouda or Stilton or Parmesan. The aging brings out their flavor so much.
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William Lindsey :toad:replied to lolonurse last edited by
@lolonurse Definitely lucky. As some commentators like John McNeill have said, the LBGTQ portion of the population often functions as the talented 10th, giving all sorts of gifts and talents to the population at large, while often being unacknowledged, unseen, scorned. You're fortunate that you saw the talented 10th close up as you grew up.
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lolonursereplied to William Lindsey :toad: last edited by
@wdlindsy
Yes! We once owned a sandwich shop, and we would treat ourselves to a 1/4 wheel of wonderful Parm when we were shopping for the store. I love cheese. (PS... my grandmother came from a tiny village not far from Köln (Cologne)... so your husband and I could be distant cousins - people didn't go very far in those days!) (PPS - re:cheese...
the German womenfolk made a very comforting warm cheese spread from farmer cheese. I still make it to this day!) -
lolonursereplied to William Lindsey :toad: last edited by
@wdlindsy
The only thing that makes me wince is that he chose to tell his wife on their anniversary. That doesn't strike me as being very compassionate. Double whammy. Then again, I know nothing of their relationship - just thinking how I would react. Maybe she had an inkling. One of my closest friends is trans, & when she told her (ex)wife, divorce was immediate, and the kids needed years to process it (all's good now, & she's a grandparent). -
lolonursereplied to William Lindsey :toad: last edited by
@wdlindsy
I was also very fortunate to grow up in NYC, with parents who absolutely loved every aspect of theater, from musicals to opera to Joseph Papp's off-beat productions to ballet. My very first concert was Leonard Bernstein. I think I was about 6 or 7. I went to an Andy Warhol party in the East Village in 1967. It was horrible bc I always hated cigarette smoke, & it was very thick! -
William Lindsey :toad:replied to lolonurse last edited by
@lolonurse A wonderful, rich upbringing. I'm with you on hating the smell of cigarette smoke. Both of my parents were heavy smokers, as were all of my mother's siblings except one. I am really glad in my adult life that I don't have to live with that any more.
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William Lindsey :toad:replied to lolonurse last edited by
@lolonurse There's much I don't understand about his life, because he never chose to share with me and still does not. He's very seriously ill now and nothing has changed, sadly, and as I tell his daughter, I don't expect it to change. He was far and away my mother's favorite. She did not mind saying that and telling her other sons that we had disappointed her. I think that relationship made him from childhood very focused on himself and not very responsive to others' feelings.
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William Lindsey :toad:replied to lolonurse last edited by
@lolonurse My husband's family's little village outside Köln is Stommeln. It's one of the few villages or towns in Germany whose synagogue survived the Nazi period. The synagogue is now a museum that we visited, a deeply touching and painful shrine. The story told is that a farmer took it over and kept pigs inside it, and in that way it was saved from destruction.
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lolonursereplied to William Lindsey :toad: last edited by
@wdlindsy
Dang! I'm sorry to hear about what must have been a sad & confusing time for you. I know my wackadoodle middle sister was my dad's favorite, but it was subtle, & he vehemently denied having any favorites. But it was likely bc she is such a f-d up human. Sorry your brother isn't trying to make things right before he goes, but it sounds like maybe you at least have a relationship with your niece? -
lolonursereplied to William Lindsey :toad: last edited by
@wdlindsy
There were some decent people - I think maybe more in villages than cities, where neighbors relied on each other more, & shared milk, bread, sugar... Also, there were priests & nuns who took in families, or hid children, at great risk to themselves.
One of our small cemeteries in Germany was destroyed by Nazis, but after the war, people found headstones, repaired them, & though they didn't know exactly where the graves were, they set them up again, and it is now protected. -
William Lindsey :toad:replied to lolonurse last edited by
@lolonurse Yes, there were some really exemplary instances of that kind of courage and compassion to protect Jewish neighbors. The village of Le-Chambon-sur-Lignon in France stands out and has been celebrated in a documentary by Pierre Sauvage. My spouse and I watched a film several months ago about a village in the German Rhineland whose members hid many Jewish neighbors — based on a true story — and its title is unfortunately escaping my mind now.