The ruling, which overturns a 1972 decision that condemned the obese tree-dwelling demon to an impenetrable tomb for all eternity, has raised concerns that countless lives could be endangered by her release.
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The ruling, which overturns a 1972 decision that condemned the obese tree-dwelling demon to an impenetrable tomb for all eternity, has raised concerns that countless lives could be endangered by her release. In a majority opinion joined by his fellow conservatives on the bench, Justice Samuel Alito argued that while the Constitution guarantees certain inalienable rights for all U.S. citizens, it does not offer explicit protection against the merciless Ilocano devil. https://theonion.com/supreme-court-rules-6-3-to-open-evil-tomb-of-batibat/
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Stephen Darlingtonreplied to Charlie Stross last edited by
@cstross Once again, the Onion does some of the best reporting.
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... in other news, Pazuzu, the demon of communicable diseases, filed an amicus brief, arguing on behalf of virus-borne diseases, lest they, too, be consigned to oblivion by the Dreaded Vaccines.
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Riley S. Faelanreplied to Charlie Stross last edited by
@cstross But did Clarence Thomas admit to placing a pubic hair at the osmium lid of the demon's sarcophagus?
