Sometimes people are like "you act like someone who is having a conversation with you online is supposed to exert cognitive effort to learn something about who you are" and I'm like?????
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Sometimes people are like "you act like someone who is having a conversation with you online is supposed to exert cognitive effort to learn something about who you are" and I'm like????? Yes??????
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I don't know what you are all here sharing thoughts online FOR, but my assumption is that we are in general trying to use some of the same social mechanisms that we rely on for like.......social life in general
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@grimalkina I have no idea how which part of this thread to reply to with this comment, and I apologize if I said this already to you specifically...
I think there is a mismatch between the social contexts people are used to in the real world and how social media structures interactions that may lead to this thing you describe.
Specifically, social media blur the boundary between my space and yours. My space is my home feed, and if any of your posts turn up in mine (I follow you, someone ...
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@grimalkina ... boosts it, SN algorithm puts it there, etc) to part of me it feels like you've come to my living room and made a statement there.
If it's a welcome statement, that's fine. But if not, it's sort of a violation of social boundaries?
The problem is, when you wrote your post, you were doing that in *your* space. So if I reply to it based on that feeling of violation, I might choose words that on your receiving end feel like a violation of social boundaries.
Were we both sharing..
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@grimalkina ... a neutral, public space, it probably wouldn't get to that point of mutually feeling our personal space had been violated.
I see a fair few of social interactions that go bad play out in exactly that way. "Someone appears in my mentions" is one of those identifying phrases.
Once I started to understand this problem in terms of spaces, it made a lot more sense to me.
FWIW, this goes back for me to Dr. Richard Bartle, who co-created MUD, the first shared virtual world. He...
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@grimalkina ... argues rather convincingly that virtual worlds are spaces, not games, even if we call them that (e.g. MMORPGs). They just happen to shared spaces we visit to play games within them. So a lot of the implicit rules of shared spaces apply.
I've long thought that any website is such a shared space, such as in a web forum. But that is not quite true, because the forum is neutral to all participants.
Social media has the specific difference to a forum that it acts as a home space...
