Food makes mouths dirty. Why the hell does toothpaste make it clean?????

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Food contains sugars and other things that cause plaque. Food gets stuck in between teeth. Bacteria love that shit.

Toothpaste is an abrasive cleaner that can contain things that kill bacteria. Tooth paste is usually minty, making your mouth feel fresh.

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Also humans lack a stable tooth-friendly microbiome in their mouths. At least not ones in modern societies, I mean maybe someone in remote areas of the world (who has never eaten refined sugar and never used mouthwash, still eats unprocessed+fibrous foods etc.)?

no banana

I mean other than the chemistry around the issue, it's obvious that one breaks down your teeth and the other stops it from happening.

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It doesn't. It's mainly the toothbrush that cleans the teeth.

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I take it you brush your teeth during showering

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Yes. Imagine how filthy your teeth would be if you just chewed the toothpaste, and skipped the mechanical cleaning of brushing/flossing.

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Sodium Laureth Sulfate is what makes toothpaste foam and what makes your mouth “feel” clean.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodium_laureth_sulfate

Rhynoplaz

Probably the same person who insists that rubbing soap on my dishes is "safer" and "cleaner" than dipping them in cheese sauce.

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It also contributes heavily to the formation of aphthous mouth ulcers. For anyone suffering them like I used to (which is to say "badly"): if this is the first time you're hearing about it, look for tooth paste with no SLS. It doesn't matter if the L is Lauryl or Laureth, that shit is drying out the mucous membranes in your mouth, making them more to damage, and thereby giving you ulcers. Kroger/King Soopers have a generic that's SLS-free, but Sensodyne Pronamel is one that's usually SLS-free if you can't find a generic. If you have an ulcer right now:

Crush up an aspirin to fine powder
Dampen a cotton swab with some clean water
Dip the swab in the aspirin powder so it makes a kind of paste
Paint the paste on the ulcer with the swab

It'll hurt like hell, but doing this daily will heal the wound in a few days instead of a few weeks.

As well, most people brush too hard; some of that "clean" feeling is coming from gum trauma from brushing too hard. Holding the toothbrush between forefinger and thumb limits the amount of pressure you can apply, reducing the risk of damaging your gums.

Finally, flossing gets the biofilm out from between your teeth; brushing gets it off the exposed surfaces; and peroxide-based mouthwash is a nuclear firestorm to scour the bacterial population. Do all three each night at least, and your breath will be better than anyone you know.

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Sweating makes my body dirty, why the hell does showering in water make it clean?????

Like who tf made up that rule? Maybe it's just different kinds of dirty???