Women only, a quick question: How bad is the reply guy problem on Mastodon? (Please boost for a good sample.)

[methylcobalamin@mastodon.social]

@williampietri

Mastodon is *social* media. Social as in people talking to you. It isn't a journal site where it is about the satisfaction of posting thoughts.

OTOH, Mastodon does have a maven problem. People who think they are the only smart person on the platform who reply to posts with points that EVERYBODY would have already thought of.

[jacklaridian@social.horrorhub.club]

@williampietri
To be honest, I've always been unsure of this one. Is the problem that guys reply, or is it the way they reply? Like, obviously this is a public forum, and if you put something out there you have to expect it to be replied to. So, is it like 'mansplaining' where someone comes in to 'clarify' what the OP is trying to say?

[corbden@defcon.social]

@Methylcobalamin @williampietri Found our reply guy right here

I'll be your maven today.

"Social" as in there is a standard etiquette of how to treat people, and "social" pushback for breaking it, which results in "social" consequences, like that people will form opinions of you, which will earn you a "social" status and may even cause you to be pushed to the margins of "society," as social dynamics have operated for thousands of years. ‍️

[maggiejk@zeroes.ca]

@corbden
Unrelated to this thread, I feel like I follow you every time I see you. So I think I followed you multiple times yet I wasn’t following you just now.

If it’s because you have multiple accounts or have switched servers that makes sense. If you are soft blocking me you should probably just block me because I won’t realize you want me to F off that way. I assume it’s my brain fog or technology messing with me and I’ll just re-follow

[corbden@defcon.social]

@maggiejk Huh, strange, no I haven't done any of those things. I've noticed you follow me before and I wondered if I'd followed you back even. I thought you'd moved servers. How strange. You're welcome to follow me! I'll follow you back and see if it locks in.

[williampietri@sfba.social]

Somebody asked me privately if trans women were welcome to reply. My answer: Yes, all women! And really, anybody who people perceive as a women enough to cause reply-guy behavior, as what I'm interested in here is the level of impact. So yes, please vote!

[laguiri@queer.party]

@jacklaridian @williampietri Some of the things my replys guys do or have done in the past is:
- Replying to everything, absolutely everything I post.
- Reformulating my own post back at me.
- Changing the subject so it is about their political leaning or pet peeve, only slightly connected to my topic.
- Repeat unsolicited advice. In particular, advice that is entirely impossible to follow in my circumstances (for example, recommending a shop that isn't local to me).
- Irony, cynicism that is supposed to be fun, as an online persona. Not a troll, but close.

[183231bcb@transfem.social]

@[email protected] @[email protected] So would that make you a "follow person?"

(All my jokes are this bad).

[williampietri@sfba.social]

Ok, poll closed! From the number of people asking me about results, I guess some clients don't always offer the option to see them. Here's a screenshot of the results just in case.

[williampietri@sfba.social]

There were a lot of interesting replies giving further detail. I'd sum it up by saying that women say they are more likely to experience reply guys when

* posts are boosted widely
* they're more visibly female
* they're talking about tech
* responses come from certain servers, including fosstodon and mastodon.social

[williampietri@sfba.social]

A number of women mentioned discomfort seeing reply guys on other women's posts. When I worked on abuse previously, this sort of bystander harm had a significant chilling effect on the willingness of people to post when they identified with the people targeted.

To me, this is a pretty clear example of what Kate Manne describes in Down Girl: "misogyny enforces patriarchy by punishing women who deviate from patriarchy".

[jdp23@blahaj.zone]

@[email protected] is it okay with you I screenshot this poll and use it in an article?

[williampietri@sfba.social]

@jdp23 Sure!

[jdp23@blahaj.zone]

@[email protected] thanks much, I'll shoot you a draft once it's ready (which might not be for a bit, it's an update to "Mastodon: a partial history" so it's kinda long)