FlushMe app - Bizarro

[email protected]

In your own home? Seems like it's only you that reeks the benefits (pun intended)

[email protected]

But the existing mounting hardware is proprietary, so in addition to a new toilet, you also need to replace half your plumbing.

[email protected]

And when the company stops wanting to pay the webservice hosting costs, you have to pay the plumber to come back and throw your useless toilet in the trash.

Worked for a company that made a kitchen appliance that had zero buttons. Needed an app. If you unplugged it without shutting it down in the app, it'd send you an alert notification. The app took at least three taps to fucking turn it off.

And the company was paying something like $1MM/yr to AWS to keep this thing running.

go $fsck yourself

More pixels

[email protected]

And when the company starts struggling, they'll start charging or requiring you to watch an ad to flush.

Before they go out of business and brick your toilet.

[email protected]

Fun tip, you can dump a bucket of water to flush the toilet. Useful if you're ever working on your water supply after taco night.

[email protected]

Ok but like today I literally discovered someone HACKED THEIR TOOTHBRUSH TO BE A RICKROLL
Technology has gone too far.

[email protected]

you jest but I recently bought a stove that breaks some UX functions unless you use their fucking app.

I refuse to. fuck em. it does 100% of what I need but that extra 15% would have made it the best ever.

now it gets 2 stars and a bad review for paywalled features.

[email protected]

I have made the shit demons mad, what the fuck do I do now?!

oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

[email protected]

Full-dive VR is the only difference between this reality & a cyberpunk dystopia.

[email protected]

How sophisticated can a stove be it needs an app?

Also, how did you not catch that before buying?

[email protected]

You gotta give it biometrics. For your fingerprint, WHAT IF SOMBODY BROKE INTO YOUR HOUSE AND SHAT ON YOUR TOILET!!!
see there keeping you safe from those shitty bastards!!
So just uhh give us all permissions

Captain Aggravated

No the Flushmate Throne Pro would definitely not have an S bend, it would have a proprietary in-house designed mascerator pump.

[email protected]

And you fecal data is shared with health insurance companies, so you can get targeted ~~price hikes~~ recommendations

Funwayguy

I wish I was kidding when I say there exist asshole recognition tech already. They'll just attach that to your advertiser ID so their worldwide network of 'smart toilets' can deliver targeted ads to every stall and urinal you visit.

[email protected]

I wouldn't even have thought to look. So unless it was prominent in the description, I wouldn't notice.

[email protected]

Is it one of those that plays music through bone conductivity? Cause that'd honestly be a pretty hilarious prank.

[email protected]

So, if I let a guest shat on my toilet, I have to join and gave my fingerprint permission to flush their shit? Nice.

nek0d3r

My last ISP demanded I use an Eero router that had no web interface, it was only accesible via an app.

[email protected]

I found a "smart" Wi-Fi bulb in the trash and used a throwaway phone to pair it through its app. It was adjustable white and RGB, so I put it in the bathroom and thought I'd trigger it to be dim red (cicardian rhythm, you know) whenever it was night (using a built-in RTC, NTP or light sensor, whatever it was capable of). Well, nope! It only connects to Wi-Fi when powered on (understandable) and only takes orders from an external server god-knows-where, with limited local functionality (party-light cycling, WB matching, optionally remembering the last setting). It does not notify the server when its power turns on (only when switched via app or smart button) so it cannot be configured as a "smart event". The closest I could do would be to create a time event every minute:

22:00 turn on 25% red
22:01 turn on 25% red
22:02 turn on 25% red
•••
04:29 turn on 25% red
04:30 turn on 100% warm white
04:31 turn on 100% warm white
•••
21:59 turn on 100% warm white

I'm pretty sure there is a limit to timed actions so I can't just do it this way. I guess I know why it got trashed while still working as intended.

I'll be looking into Home Automation and see if there is a compatible firmware to flash on this piece of shit. Or I'll just use my electrical engineering skills to combine red and orange LEDs into another bulb and give it a separate switch.