I have said this several times but it bears repeating now:
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I have said this several times but it bears repeating now:
A very large portion of the Fediverse values tone over substance. "Politeness" and "civility" over what people are actually saying.
This leads to a constant background noise of just rancid replies that are all phrased in a superficially "nice" tone.
Justified anger and non-diplomatic push-back however is heavily policed and dismissed as "bad habits" brought over from elsewhere.
Unless this fundamentally changes, it will never be a place that's safe for marginalized people who have to stand up for themselves and face a constant stream of condescension, dismissiveness, and outright hostility.
A lot of the time it absolutely does live up to its reputation as a place where middle aged white cis men tell you how your perspective and expertise don't matter, and where you better watch your mouth when talking back to them.
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Daveyreplied to Esther is looking for a server last edited by
@esther
"This leads to a constant background noise of just rancid replies that are all phrased in a superficially "nice" tone."And these tend to be met with a "well this all looks fine to me" when reported.
The fake civility is so insidious.
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@davey_cakes @esther Yes it is!
When Civility Is Used As A Cudgel Against People Of Color
For people of color, "civility" is often a means of containing them, preventing social mobility and preserving the status quo.
NPR (www.npr.org)
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Erin 💽✨replied to Esther is looking for a server last edited by@esther I've long thought that so much effort is put into making instance block lists, but so little is put into anything focused on problem users, and it kind of exemplifies the general moderation problems on here
You're unlikely to defederate a place just because of a few reply guys even if they fail to moderate them, so everyone has to rediscover the same guys the hard way. -
K2 for Harris (Obviously)replied to Esther is looking for a server last edited by
@esther I think we can all up our social debate skills by listening to people who are really good at it.
#MichelleObama #TimWalz #TaylorSwift #PeteButtegieg are a few people I look up to on this regard. I'm sure there are many others. -
Esther is looking for a serverreplied to K2 for Harris (Obviously) last edited by
@Krosen_nw No. Treating everything as some kind of debate club exercise where everything needs to be addressed on an "orderly" and "civil" manner is a big part of the problem. IT leaves no space for people's justified feelings and polices any outward presentation of those feelings.
It enforces particular styles of expression and conflict resolution over others, often along pre-existing lines of marginalization.
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Esther is looking for a serverreplied to Esther is looking for a server last edited by
A common question I get to this is "But what is the solution?" and that sound to me like a wish for a simple, ideally technical solution. And I think there is no such thing.
I think it has to start with accepting that you'll be uncomfortable sometimes, and that you'll feel negative things, and that it's ok to feel them.
I'm still working on that too. It's hard and takes time. But nobody can to do that work for you, certainly not a piece of technology.
What I see a lot on the Fediverse though is the opposite: a strong desire to keep things comfortable and "nice".