Make sure you are practicing emotional self-regulation.

Nat Oleander

A daily self-compassion meditation works wonders for me. Maybe it will be helpful for you.

Whatever you do—

let yourself feel the rage, let yourself move through the grief, let it fuel you as it must—

but don't sink your energy into hate or spite; both will wear you out over the long run, which will slow you down and lessen your effectiveness. They also make you connect in an "us vs them" mode that relies on anxiety/fear to stay motivated.

(5/10)

Nat Oleander

It's not necessary to love your enemy; you don't even have to spend a ton of time understanding them, depending on your zone of focus.

But you do need to love yourself fiercely, and the people you're fighting for. Let that love expand as big as it needs to be to make hope possible, dream of a better world for everyone, and keep moving.

In choir we know we can't all hold every note. When you take a breath, your section keeps the note going. You stagger breaths so everyone gets a break.

(6/10)

GinevraCat

@nat Absolutely. Action driven by fierce, faithful, love is the best, most sustainable action.

Nat Oleander

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO TAKE BREAKS.

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE MORE THAN JUST BARELY FUNCTIONAL.

There are therapists, coaches, support groups, experts, and educators who would love to help you do what you need to do so that WE can do what WE need to do.

Ask for help when you need it. Keep things as simple as you can. Don't get torn in a million directions. Don't stress about all the things you can't do.

(7/10)

Lulu · לולו

@nat This is a wonderful analogy. We are strong together and we need to hold on to each other.

Nat Oleander

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Nat Oleander

Build coalitions. Work with people you disagree with in some ways. Let yourself be imperfect; let other people make mistakes. Let the work be messy. It will be messy and it will be done, or it will be the Perfect Vision you cling to that never comes to pass.

Be wary of people trying to bring division to your group, unless it is a clarion call for justice or inclusion. Some things really do need to be addressed right away and can't wait. Some things can be set aside for the moment.

(8/10)

Nat Oleander

Just remember that it is easier to tear apart a leftist group and derail all kinds of action than it is to get something meaningful done together. Especially when we are all afraid and suspicious.

Be cautious, yes. Don't give away important information until trust is built. But do what it takes to build collective strength. Practice emotional regulation together. Process the grief as a group. Welcome the gallows humor.

(9/10)

Nat Oleander

You are not alone. Your piece of the work is your part to play, and it matters. You matter. Change matters.

We're not where we wanted to be, but we won't stop dreaming, we won't stop loving, we won't stop healing, we won't stop creating, we won't stop enacting justice in beautiful ways.

(10/10)

gcvsa ⭐️🔰🇺🇸 🇵🇭

@nat I just attended a meeting last night in which it was obvious how the drive for ideological purity among some leftists is cancerous to forming a cohesive opposition. It was a perfect example of "perfection is the antagonist of improvement".

How are we going to save the world, when we can't even save ourselves?

gcvsa ⭐️🔰🇺🇸 🇵🇭

@nat The problem with many such "calls of justice or inclusion" is that we need to consider the notion that we may not be able to save everyone and everything, and often people will refuse to unite unless their personal interests are met to their satisfaction. If we end up doing nothing at all, we won't save anyone or anything. Some hard choices are going to need to be made. In the professional emergency services, there is a saying, "first, do not become yourself a victim in the process."

Nat Oleander

@gcvsa so frustrating!! This is exactly what I want to address in my work. The new title I've come up with for my newsletter is "Impure Leftist." It is really critical that we work on the emotional and interpersonal skills essential to movement work.

The purity culture of the left is way too much like the evangelical movement many of us came from. And honestly it's bc too many haven't healed from that mindset and the damage it did.

Nat Oleander

@gcvsa Exactly. Sooo much unnecessary division is created in the name of justice or inclusion. But white/privileged leaders are also prone to override a lot of legitimate concerns about racism, etc. A lot of times it just means reorganizing so that people who can't get along don't have to work together directly, and there is ongoing education/support for those who really want to do better.

Rachel Grimaude

@nat Thank you for sharing these; I'm going to need to come back to these a lot for the time being 🥺

Nat Oleander

@RodentRachel hugs!! I'm glad my skillset can make a difference too