Look, I'm gonna lay this out on the line:
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Technology Connectionsreplied to Technology Connections on last edited by
I don't like being a whiny person, so largely I'm not. I recognize I've won life's lottery in lots of ways and have privileges many, MANY people don't.
But I am still a person.
And while I'm grateful for all the supportive replies I get here, there's sincerely about a 1:1 ratio between those and replies which push me away.
It is simply not fun for me to be here. And I'm damn sure that's not my problem.
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TALreplied to Technology Connections on last edited by
@TechConnectify I'd be gone if I got your replies, don't know how you're still here.
(I just wanted to confirm that sentiment so you don't feel gaslit)
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Technology Connectionsreplied to TAL on last edited by
@tal Hey, genuinely?
Thank you.
You're potentially the first person to react with unqualified empathy which shows you understand the shoes I'm in.
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benreplied to Technology Connections on last edited by
@TechConnectify You're currently whining about and setting your followers on a person who simply replied to a direct request to watch a Youtube video with their reasons why they won't. They didn't tag you (in fact, if their client works like most, they specifically made an effort not to tag you) and involve you in the conversation.
There are issues with mental health and social media, and perhaps they are not helped by Mastodon's design or community. But "not my problem"? I wouldn't be so sure.
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Technology Connectionsreplied to ben on last edited by
@sqrt2 Hey!
So, firstly, no they were not asked. Someone simply provided the link, and even qualified it with "if you're into that sort of thing" or something along those lines.
But second... I mean do you really think I'm framing my entire experience on this one single post?
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Maddy :verifiedp2:replied to Technology Connections on last edited by
@TechConnectify Fair enough.
This place is basically Fediverse Twitter.
Twitter has always had a similar issue with it being a mental health drain.
I find myself in that same position quite often. The best thing to do is take a break for however long you find necessary.
And if you don't come back, that's more than okay.
I, however, am terminally online. (And my mental health strangles me for it every day. )
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benreplied to Technology Connections on last edited by
@TechConnectify If you feel you need to nitpick whether "It's your lucky day: link to video" in a discussion is a request or merely a strong suggestion to watch that video, I am going to suggest to you that you place the internet device to the side and do something else for the rest of the day.
And no, I don't think you base your framing on a single post. I think you're at this point in a state of mind where you're making things worse for yourself (and in this case, also others).
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Technology Connectionsreplied to ben on last edited by [email protected]
@sqrt2 I think "a direct request" which in fact was not is not a simple nitpick, ben.
I have only a mild flavor of fame, but if you can put yourself in my shoes - shoes where you know many people have thoughts about your work which are probably unkind - you might want spaces where you aren't forced to see those thoughts.
And before you nitpick on the whole tagging thing - it went from a "here's a nice mention, let's click through" to "oh christ" real quick.
And I don't like it!
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Technology Connectionsreplied to Technology Connections on last edited by
@sqrt2 I will, as a matter of fact, stop coming here so much.
I mean, I have! I hardly post here anymore. And I'm telling you plainly the reasons why.
And I feel constantly gaslit when I'm here. You are currently contributing to that. I feel the way I do, I've identified why, and I've also made clear some of the things I think need to change.
If the response is "no, you're just doing it wrong" - then I'm gonna GTFO
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benreplied to Technology Connections on last edited by
@TechConnectify Yes, that's a good idea, actually.
You've replied to me with the, frankly nonsensical notion that, in the context of the mental health effects of social media, in a discussion between two people that doesn't involve you, it is important what some other person said in reply to what else , but insubstantial that they made an effort not to involve you in that conversation.
If you think the platform should have made sure you can't see it and it didn't, don't use it.
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Technology Connectionsreplied to ben on last edited by
@sqrt2 that's a whole lotta word salad to say "toughen up"
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Technology Connectionsreplied to Technology Connections on last edited by
@sqrt2 I mean really, you just don't get it.
That's ok, but rather than insist that I wear the shoes you wear and process the world as you do, maybe it would be worth considering that other people are other people.
It is not so easy for me to let this stuff roll off my back, and it's well more than just the one person I end up seeing.
But whatever, it's been clear from the start that you'd rather invalidate my feelings than believe there might be systemic problems with this platform.
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gudenaureplied to Technology Connections on last edited by
@TechConnectify I will admit that I had a view of it being "your" fault until you elaborated more. With all of the stuff I've seen around I'm surprised that there aren't more tools for this stuff with how Fedi is supposed to be all of the smart weird people.
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Technology Connectionsreplied to gudenau on last edited by
@gudenau Frankly, the fact that the culture here expects there to be tools you bolt-on to make this work the way you need it to is a big part of the problem.
"Works on my machine" is a delightful way of ensuring you don't take ownership of issues.
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neverbeatenreplied to Technology Connections on last edited by
@TechConnectify I admire what you do. I love both of your channels and will go out of my way to make time to watch your videos.
You are not whining, but exposing true deficiencies, both in many people here and in the platform, itself. It is absolutely not designed for creatives with large followings.
You do what you need to do to maintain your mental health. I'll keep watching even if you don't engage here.
Keep up the exceptional work.
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ftgreplied to Technology Connections on last edited by
@TechConnectify
Holy shit, 1:1 ratio ratio?
That's so much worse than I expected.
This platform hides so much from so many. -
Technology Connectionsreplied to ftg on last edited by
@ftg I feel I need to clarify what I mean by "push me away"
I use the term "gaslit" a lot here and, well, that's because there's a lot of people who will respond to my negative experiences with what I would call very qualified empathy.
Something like "I'm sorry you're experiencing this, have you tried X?" is not really what I need in the moment. It's "works on my machine" but said only slightly more tactfully.
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Technology Connectionsreplied to Technology Connections on last edited by
@ftg I understand where this comes from - people who believe in this place want me to stay here.
But what I'm trying to articulate is that expecting me to patch this place up to meet my needs is an unreasonable expectation. This is plainly evident to me, and it's really the whole "just pick an instance! it doesn't matter. but also it does!" confusion rehashed without any understanding of what that was so off-putting in the first place.
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Salvareplied to Technology Connections on last edited by
@TechConnectify ️️️️
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Chris Colereplied to Technology Connections on last edited by
@TechConnectify just wanted to say that I’ve been a big fan for years. It’s always a highlight of my week when you post a new, thoroughly researched, engaging, and funny video for us all to watch. I’ve often been the sender and sometimes on the receiving end of links to your videos on various topics. Keep doing what you’re doing and manage your interactions here how ever you see fit.