i feel like monogamy isn't all that bad of an option based on what i've seen and experienced myself.

la fillette révolutionnaire

i feel like monogamy isn't all that bad of an option based on what i've seen and experienced myself.

poly might feel like an easy solution and some poly people feel a certain sense of superiority for their approach to relationships but honestly, depending on what you want from relationships it brings a lot more problems than it solves.

being poly worked well for me when i was in a phase where i wanted to mess around and cuddle and kiss people and do some sex and kink stuff but it started to become contradictory at the point where i started wanting to, basically, share my life with a partner, including living together, sharing our money, spending most of the day together etc.

another thing to consider is that jealousy generally isn't something that you can just stop from happening by having the right mindset or something; some people are naturally jealous, others are not, and for some people a poly relationship just doesn't work because of that. and no, this is not oppressive and has nothing to do with the desire to control your partner or whatever.

in the end it depends a bit on your priorities and what types of relationships you want to have. in either case self control is necessary as well as the ability to compromise and not necessarily act out every desire you might feel.

in other words, so, you can't "simply be poly". nothing about being poly is simple, deciding to be poly is a serious commitment, just like deciding to be mono is.

Amber

@[email protected] great take. i wish people realized that you can't force poly on mono just like you can't force mono on poly.

Amber

@[email protected] poly isn't going to fix everything for you either. some people need to learn what they want out of a relationship instead of dating about 20 partners.

Julia :v_trans: :v_bi:

@[email protected] big agree, I'm very annoyed when people tell me to just be poly so I can satisfy the want for a femme partner while in a straight monogamous relationship but like. If I was in a gay monogamous relationship it'd be the same. And I get jealous. It wouldn't work.

Julia :v_trans: :v_bi:

@[email protected] simply put I am too bisexual for my own good (and let jealousy set in too easily)

Amber

@[email protected] @[email protected] besides i think it's funny to get you all worked up and then deny you because you're mono. i couldn't just platonically edge your emotions like that if you were poly you'd end up dating me

Amber

@[email protected] @[email protected] i mean what