Logic

[email protected]

See what I do is juuuuuuust, not give a fuck. I do things my way, and when the bosses say "No, you gotta do it THIS way" I just say "OOOOOOOOH, ok. I'll do that".

As if it's the first time they've ever told me. Then I just act like I'm learning it for the first time, and then....this is the key.....I still do it my way.

And then the bosses say "No no no, remember? We gotta do it THIS way!"

And I say "OOOOOOOOH, ok. I'll do that."

And then......key moment.....I still don't give a shit, and still do my way.

And then the bosses say "Hey, remember, we said we were doing it this way?"

And I say "Yeah, I was doing that,but then I remembered we also do it this other faster way, and then I did that instead."

"Well, we don't do that anymore. We do THIS! THIS! THIS is the way we do it. THIS!!!"

"OOOOOOOOOOH, ok. I'll do that."

And then......I do it my way.

And the boss above the boss doesn't give a shit because it doesn't matter either way. So the only one losing their shit is middle management.

See the key here is to drive them slowly insane, until they get so angry, and so full of hate that they turn to drinking. Which inevitably gets them to become an alcoholic at work, as that's the source of their stress. Which in turn gets them fired for being drunk on the job.

That's when you go out and find a handsome muscular man with a big penis. And you pay him to seduce this guys wife. Multiple times. Eventually he gets addicted to sleeping with her, and you stop paying him. It'll be easy since her husband is now an unemployed alcoholic.

So now you've been promoted at work, because there's been a recent role to fill, everyone around you knows you're not the one to fuck with, and now management above you is saying "Hey, we need to do things THIS way now."

"OOOOOOOOOH, ok. I'll do that."

[email protected]

They must be working with SAP

[email protected]

You might want to look into letting them reuse yours, that place sounds painful.

[email protected]

I think I see the logic that you might want to give say customers for product X the email [email protected] to contact, but that should map to your actual email addresses, not replace them!

[email protected]

Username doesn't check out, I think you've got a tried-and-tested plan here

[email protected]

Its every fucking role.
[email protected]
[email protected]
pm
it
scheduler
am
pr

Like what the fuck am I looking at. I just want to fucking email Beth in accounting.

[email protected]

Not too sure about the 'tried' or 'tested', but 100% agree otherwise.

[email protected]

If you need to learn Beth's email, just first send an email to [email protected]/

[email protected]

Indeed, but sometimes those reasons are legitimately stupid.

Case in point, any call center that wants to optimize handle time. The reason they pick it is because it's a very easy and straightforward metric to improve.

You just hang up on people. You can make the number go down super easily. Tell them to call back, so they spend two or even three times as long cycling through a new agent each time. Then it's 3 short 5 to 10 minute calls + time on hold which looks better than one 20 minute call.

sp3ctr4l

Are drive thru restaurants still doing basically the same thing by telling people to pull forward to a parking lot stall, to make it look like their time to complete an order is faster than it actually is?

Slippery_Snake874

Yeah. I've worked in a few places with drive throughs and that is exactly why they have you pull forward. Some places only tell people with large orders to do that though.

[email protected]

I only get told to pull forward when there's a queue, and they want to get the person behind me to the window.

[email protected]

That's why you should always request instructions in writing, and always document your objections in a polite but clear way.

Pika

Yeah this is the way. Most companies will have aliases for departments that mass send into a managed inbox or if its one person they have an actual email and then their role is an alias that redirects to their email.

position changes are as easy as just moving the alias to the new person in the position, this let's your externals be able to use the same email without having to keep the same email account for everything.

[email protected]

If the managerial caste decides things need to be done a certain way who am I, a lowly peon to say otherwise. When the inevitable fuckup occurs, I can shuffle my feet any say "aww shucks, mr. Bossman, I was only doing thing what you told me to do". I am paid to work, not to think.

[email protected]

Sorry, we're going to have to bring safety and compliance in on this one.

[email protected]

Instructions unclear, now an alcoholic with dick stuck in middle manager.

I'm sympathetic to instructions like "you need to do it this way BECAUSE perfectly valid reason". Maybe that pointless paperwork is needed for some compliance documents I'm not aware of; maybe what seems like pointless busywork in preparation is actually essential for one of our biggest customers.

Alas, at my work, it's quite often BECAUSE someone tangentially related to the project likes a certain output, and we can never go and speak to them to confirm, nor ask if maybe there's something else we could get them that could be even better.

[email protected]

"HANA needs it for analytics purposes, so the actual purpose of your job isn't to sell things or keep customers happy, but to gather metrics."

[email protected]

Do... do they think email accounts are a rare resource? Of all the things to be concerned about, they're worried about conserving something so intangible, cheap, and abundant?

Not sure how that's supposed to help Line Go Up, but okay.

HobbitFoot

I directed an engineer to check something done in the field by a contractor to see if it was ok. Because it was an edge case not typically done, I said they had to do the check by hand as it would be easier.

They "knew better" and used a computer program instead.

The beam that was bending in the computer program was bending in a different direction than what the field issue was. All of their work was worthless.