#fediblock for Are0h at h-i.social for unrepentant misgendering, aka transphobia and enbyphobia
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vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" blackreplied to vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" black last edited by
this is hardly an apology. it's a dismissal and minimization
Gorgeous Killer (@[email protected])
So I’m going over some exchanges I had yesterday after detailing yet another racist incident with tech lgbt’s admin, whose pronouns I got wrong because I generally don’t sit on the profiles of bigots like they sit on mine, which led to some folks being pretty upset. But what stood out to me is that not one person who assumed I did it on purpose even addressed the history of harassment from that admin and just assumed I was a transphobe because I would not let them talk over me and ignore why I am talking about that fool in the first place. And yes, of course, most if not all of those people are white. Did any one of them have any commentary for the racist admin that openly expressed their loathing of me for no reason, knowing it just enables more hate to be thrown my way. Nope. They rarely having anything to say people who cause harm, especially if they are queer. I have no issue talking about the mistakes I make because I’m an honest person. But yesterday reminded how many white queers literally sit on my timeline and wait for one slip up while remaining silent on the repeated actions of bigots and even giving them the benefit of the doubt despite significant evidence showing a behavioral pattern. It’s not going to stop my work, but it was a stark reminder how white people in the fedi enforce a culture of what is important to them and not a culture of safety. And more often than not, as yesterday showed, it does not include making bigots uncomfortable for their repeated targeting of Black and Brown folks.
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Asta [AMP]replied to vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" black last edited by
@[email protected] this is you taking sides, though. Like it or not.
I can assure you that whatever screen capped screenshots exist, it’s taken out of context. I don’t want to get into it since I made a large number of posts about this whole situation before, but when your hard line is the misgendering and not the constant racist abuse… you should think about why you felt you didn’t have enough context to comment on the racist abuse but felt like the misgendering should be discussed. -
@[email protected] and also, “misgendering” is a HUGE stretch and this has been twisted beyond belief to make Ro a villain (that little Dee fedilore shit in particular has done this “receipt” thing with a lot of altered narrative against numerous Black people to push an anti-Black view). People actively dislike Black people here and actively craft these narratives, which are far from the truth, to get people to incite these kinds of things.
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unimplemented!("free the imagination")replied to vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" black last edited by
@vantablack it IS an admission that they misgendered them unintentionally, which is very different from willingly doing so for the sake of harm.
This is something that abolitionists talk about harm reduction and acknowledgement. It'll never be perfect and seeking it only helps to replicate the systems we're aiming to eradicate.
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vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" blackreplied to vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" black last edited by
look all i want is for him to say he's sorry
like just an honest apology. "i'm sorry. i fucked up. i will do better"
but he has yet to actually say that. instead he just keeps talking in circles and trying to justify it. but this sort of behavior can never be justified if you care about trans people. period
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[email protected]replied to unimplemented!("free the imagination") last edited by
@jalcine @vantablack that’s the exact problem. He *did* misgender intentionally to cause harm and won’t even apologize. The posts I see in the screenshots are textbook transphobia, where gender is wielded as a weapon against a trans person.
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Asta [AMP]replied to [email protected] last edited by
@[email protected] @[email protected] @[email protected] No, he did not. He has had David blocked for ages and had no way of knowing David's pronouns when that post was made.
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[email protected]replied to Asta [AMP] last edited by
@vantablack @jalcine @aud he literally said he doesn’t respect David’s identity or humanity I don’t know how much more clear it can be?
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Asta [AMP]replied to vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" black last edited by
@[email protected] Have you asked the same of David to Ro? Have you asked tech.lgbt to apologize for blocking dair-social? Because that's what started this: tech.lgbt blocked dair-social, and I spoke to David to ask them to reconsider and they started shit talking Ro for no reason in my DMs with them.
It doesn't seem to matter what evidence is given or what people say: you seem to have made up your mind. Ro does not owe you an apology, nor are you entitled to every thought in his head. Ro did not intentionally misgender anyone. Why is Ro not taking the time to go stalk David somehow a "dealbreaker" issue for you?
You can either think about this or just keep doubling down on inciting a harassment campaign like you're doing. Because that is absolutely what will be the result of this. -
Asta [AMP]replied to [email protected] last edited by
@[email protected] @[email protected] @[email protected] Why should he respect his harasser? And the "misgendering" was literally not on purpose.
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[email protected]replied to Asta [AMP] last edited by
@aud @jalcine @vantablack so I can call the Filipino who raped me racial slurs?
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Asta [AMP]replied to [email protected] last edited by
@[email protected] @[email protected] @[email protected] Don't engage in hyperbole. I'm very sorry that happened to you, but do NOT compare Ro unknowingly using the wrong pronouns for David to rape.
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[email protected]replied to Asta [AMP] last edited by
@vantablack @jalcine @aud i’m comparing it to racial slurs. and it isn’t unknowingly anymore. Ro has been saying that misgendering someone isn’t wrong.
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Asta [AMP]replied to [email protected] last edited by
@[email protected] @[email protected] @[email protected] Ro literally came back and gave it more thought. And you... fine, yeah, I did get that backwards. And no, it wouldn't be fine! A racist slur is different from a misgendering. Why? Because pronouns aren't slurs; you can't accidentally say one. You CAN accidentally use the wrong pronoun when all you know is someone's name, especially when it's typically a gendered one.
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[email protected]replied to Asta [AMP] last edited by
@aud @vantablack @jalcine it’s not about an accidental misgendering it’s about the stance that David’s gender is something that doesn’t need to be respected
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@aud @jalcine @vantablack @destroy Not at all what fae did. The point was: Dehumanization is wrong even against a rapist (like faer example). Dehumanization is wrong even against a racist (like Ro's example).
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Asta [AMP]replied to [email protected] last edited by
@[email protected] @[email protected] @[email protected] Which he backed down from. But ffs, again: why are ONLY Ro's actions and statements up for argument here? Why is that the only thing anyone is bothered by and not the DDOSing, the harassment, the isolation and blocking of Black led communities?
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@[email protected] @[email protected] @[email protected] @[email protected] Please just jump into the other conversation thread I'm having with destroy if you want to add in, I can't handle having this same conversation in multiple places.
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[email protected]replied to Asta [AMP] last edited by
@jalcine @vantablack @aud he literally didn’t back down from it where did he ever back down?
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Asta [AMP]replied to [email protected] last edited by
@[email protected] @[email protected] @[email protected] oh for; the one in the thread above? And also the context?
This narrative: That Ro intentionally misgendered and will always misgender? is FALSE. Ro got David's pronouns incorrect and made a post about how he basically doesn't care about David's pronouns. This isn't about revoking gender; this is about "I'm not going to take the time to ensure I'm giving proper respect to my abuser while they're abusing me." It did not apply to all trans people, nor did it have anything to do with David's gender at all, in fact. It's about how people keep prioritizing David's gender and an unintentional use of the wrong pronouns over Ro's safety and freedom to not be harassed.
That someone has decided to raise this issue from the dead and leave out a ton of the context surrounding it just makes it that much more important. Once again, Ro is thrust into the spotlight. Once again, a false narrative of events is spread. Reconsider your analysis of the situation.