#fediblock for Are0h at h-i.social for unrepentant misgendering, aka transphobia and enbyphobia
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caution: Mg. Tully is at largereplied to hazelnot :yell: last edited by
@hazelnot @tobi @vantablack you gotta weigh it. Ro deals with so much antiblackness every single fucking day on here and this will absolutely give ammunition to the crowd who looks for every reason to harass him.
does he meticulously research the pronouns of people who target him? of course not. would _your_ first response to a hateful celebrity targeting you be to research how to address them respectfully?
you gotta look at the bigger picture sometimes Vanta. this post was, and still is, a bad move.
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vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" blackreplied to vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" black last edited by
cis people don't get misgendered when they do horrible shit so why is it suddenly okay with queer trans nonbinary people?
and fwiw YES i HAVE gone out of my way to look up the pronouns of people who've harassed me. people we've had to defederate. because it's basic fucking decency towards all queer people
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vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" blackreplied to vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" black last edited by
idgaf if you have someone defederated it takes ten seconds to open up their profile on their instance and look
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Comrade Kip Van Den Bosreplied to Comrade Kip Van Den Bos last edited by
As a follow up because apparently it wasn't clear enough: purposefully misgendering people is, as I wrote above, shitty; I could also add dehumanizing, demeaning, humiliating, etc. Folks have every right to block someone for doing that, that's not up for debate. What I'm trying to address above is that you're tilting at windmills with this post, and it will have negative consequences for Ro in terms of being characterized as a villain, and it will catch other Black folks in the crossfire, whether you want it to or not, merely by virtue of kicking up this fucking endless-ass meta all over again and giving ammo to loathsome racists who thrive on games of telephone like this. I'm already seeing people boosting and getting riled up and self-righteous about it and that's exactly how dogpiles start up, we've seen it a million times.
I've admired stuff that you've posted in the past especially around blocking Threads, and doing Fedipact, and helping people with mutual aid and stuff. That's all great. But the "it pains me to do this" part of this particular post really has something of precious wounded white womanhood about it, and I'd suggest you just have a really good think about what you're doing here by posting this and opening this pandora's box all over again for the sake of someone who has faced a frankly preposterous amount of shit over the years, and largely keeps himself to himself these days.
That's all I gotta say, thanks for reading.
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punJentreplied to Comrade Kip Van Den Bos last edited by
@tobi @vantablack tobi, thanks for saying this better than I could. I agree that misgendering is shitty, and shouldn't happen. However, I saw these posts of Ro's when they were happening and 1) I don't always go check someones profile when they're being a right cunt to me and I don't expect that of other people either. I don't really think any of us should. And that's most likely what happened here. 2) Ro didn't continue to misgender them in subsequent posts if you read those objectively. He simply didn't edit his originals and pointed out that people were barging into his menchies more upset about his misgendering than david's racist harassment of him, a thing he and other Black users here perpetually have to deal with. Why were those same people not flouncing in and out of david's menchies decrying his racism?? Why is this post ONLY about Ro, and not calling for the blocking of david for racist harassment??
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Gregreplied to caution: Mg. Tully is at large last edited by
@tully @hazelnot @vantablack no you DON'T "gotta weigh it" with basic human decency!
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vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" blackreplied to vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" black last edited by
i'm not trying to take sides in the screencapped conflict btw. and for the people asking why i haven't made a post about david harassing Are0h... i'm not too familiar with that whole meta situation tbh. i just saw a lot of meta about misgendering people you don't like. and then i saw the source of it. and i felt i needed to take action because intentional misgendering is NEVER okay and defending it after the fact even moreso
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vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" blackreplied to vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" black last edited by
to be extremely explicit: racist harassment is bad. and you should absolutely not do it
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@tobi @vantablack I will likely defend Ro on a lot of shit here because Ive been around long enough to watch some of my very favorite people on the fedi leave bc the racist harassment was so overwhelming for PV. I still miss Deni, and Mo is around but a lot less. They were some of the first friends I made here and I got to meet Mo IRL. Ro and I had a disagreement once, and he called me out bc he expected me to be better and do better. And I'm grateful for people like that on here. I've also learned a TON from the trans friends I have on here. We should not be pitting our identities against each other. If we are constantly expecting nothing but perfection of each other AND our allies we will never get anywhere. We will never learn, grow, be better and do better, and we deny that growth to others as well. Ro got the point; he didn't need dogpiling to do so. I don't think this post will do anything except pit us against each other AGAIN when we need to be united against those who hate us
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vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" blackreplied to vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" black last edited by
and yes, the fediverse definitely does have a bad racism problem
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vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" blackreplied to vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" black last edited by
this is hardly an apology. it's a dismissal and minimization
Gorgeous Killer (@[email protected])
So I’m going over some exchanges I had yesterday after detailing yet another racist incident with tech lgbt’s admin, whose pronouns I got wrong because I generally don’t sit on the profiles of bigots like they sit on mine, which led to some folks being pretty upset. But what stood out to me is that not one person who assumed I did it on purpose even addressed the history of harassment from that admin and just assumed I was a transphobe because I would not let them talk over me and ignore why I am talking about that fool in the first place. And yes, of course, most if not all of those people are white. Did any one of them have any commentary for the racist admin that openly expressed their loathing of me for no reason, knowing it just enables more hate to be thrown my way. Nope. They rarely having anything to say people who cause harm, especially if they are queer. I have no issue talking about the mistakes I make because I’m an honest person. But yesterday reminded how many white queers literally sit on my timeline and wait for one slip up while remaining silent on the repeated actions of bigots and even giving them the benefit of the doubt despite significant evidence showing a behavioral pattern. It’s not going to stop my work, but it was a stark reminder how white people in the fedi enforce a culture of what is important to them and not a culture of safety. And more often than not, as yesterday showed, it does not include making bigots uncomfortable for their repeated targeting of Black and Brown folks.
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Asta [AMP]replied to vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" black last edited by
@[email protected] this is you taking sides, though. Like it or not.
I can assure you that whatever screen capped screenshots exist, it’s taken out of context. I don’t want to get into it since I made a large number of posts about this whole situation before, but when your hard line is the misgendering and not the constant racist abuse… you should think about why you felt you didn’t have enough context to comment on the racist abuse but felt like the misgendering should be discussed. -
@[email protected] and also, “misgendering” is a HUGE stretch and this has been twisted beyond belief to make Ro a villain (that little Dee fedilore shit in particular has done this “receipt” thing with a lot of altered narrative against numerous Black people to push an anti-Black view). People actively dislike Black people here and actively craft these narratives, which are far from the truth, to get people to incite these kinds of things.
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unimplemented!("free the imagination")replied to vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" black last edited by
@vantablack it IS an admission that they misgendered them unintentionally, which is very different from willingly doing so for the sake of harm.
This is something that abolitionists talk about harm reduction and acknowledgement. It'll never be perfect and seeking it only helps to replicate the systems we're aiming to eradicate.
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vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" blackreplied to vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" black last edited by
look all i want is for him to say he's sorry
like just an honest apology. "i'm sorry. i fucked up. i will do better"
but he has yet to actually say that. instead he just keeps talking in circles and trying to justify it. but this sort of behavior can never be justified if you care about trans people. period
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[email protected]replied to unimplemented!("free the imagination") last edited by
@jalcine @vantablack that’s the exact problem. He *did* misgender intentionally to cause harm and won’t even apologize. The posts I see in the screenshots are textbook transphobia, where gender is wielded as a weapon against a trans person.
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Asta [AMP]replied to [email protected] last edited by
@[email protected] @[email protected] @[email protected] No, he did not. He has had David blocked for ages and had no way of knowing David's pronouns when that post was made.
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[email protected]replied to Asta [AMP] last edited by
@vantablack @jalcine @aud he literally said he doesn’t respect David’s identity or humanity I don’t know how much more clear it can be?
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Asta [AMP]replied to vanta "tits out at the bridge rave" black last edited by
@[email protected] Have you asked the same of David to Ro? Have you asked tech.lgbt to apologize for blocking dair-social? Because that's what started this: tech.lgbt blocked dair-social, and I spoke to David to ask them to reconsider and they started shit talking Ro for no reason in my DMs with them.
It doesn't seem to matter what evidence is given or what people say: you seem to have made up your mind. Ro does not owe you an apology, nor are you entitled to every thought in his head. Ro did not intentionally misgender anyone. Why is Ro not taking the time to go stalk David somehow a "dealbreaker" issue for you?
You can either think about this or just keep doubling down on inciting a harassment campaign like you're doing. Because that is absolutely what will be the result of this. -
Asta [AMP]replied to [email protected] last edited by
@[email protected] @[email protected] @[email protected] Why should he respect his harasser? And the "misgendering" was literally not on purpose.