It's impossible to lose

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I'm in the market for a golden one, I've heard they are really good.

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I heard they're unethical. Made with slave labour or something.

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Depends on the size. A 65 year old who's been working hard their whole life might get a small golden parachute and those ones are less unethical. CEOs and world leaders get the enormous golden chutes and there is no way to make one of those without child labour, slave labour, and other forms of exploitation.

I Cast Fist

Same applies to coffin companies. Not a single user came back to complain.

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Parachutes are not scientificaly proven to reduce skydiving deaths. There's never been a double blind study done.

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Too bad it takes people literally falling out of the sky and dying in order to amass the data to know its dangerous. Too bad it's impossible to prevent that through regulation, I'm told.