Water into Wine

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Can Jesus turn the water in wine into wine?

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thats just most of what they had in the library growing up, 25 lol

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That's what I'm talking about. OK then.

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Did you have to help a chicken cross the road making that joke?

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Jesus invented brandy.

Kairos

To be specific, it'd likely immediately fuck up the electrical signals in the brain, thus killing the brain.

ℍ𝕂-𝟞𝟝

Pretty much immediately. You wouldn't even know it.

Acidic pH like wine denatures proteins. It would destroy you on the cellular level, basic cell functions would cease to work. You could say it would stop your breathing or cause an instant heart attack, but it would be more like as if it fried your brain and heart like an egg in an instant.

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What if all the water turned to wine at 1 standard drink per hour

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You are saying that you would have to eat four times your body weight of wine powder to turn your blood into wine. That doesn’t make sense.

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woah Jesus is a water bender??

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Wait, is that what brandy is?

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That's an understatement, it would also add a bunch of alcohol and all kinds of sugars and proteins inside every single cell. I bet that would instantly mess up every single biological process.

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Better quality version:

Source: Instagram

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Sort of. You distil the wine, ethanol comes out first in a higher concentration than water, you also get some bits of the wine flavour, but some is left behind as well. Over time the ABV of the liquid coming out of the still drops as the ethanol is mostly boiled off. Mostly. There would probably still be traces of it left down to the last few drops if you were to evaporate all of it.

Fun fact though when chefs add wine and say "it just boils off", this is mostly a lie. Depending on how you are cooking it some amount will remain. A long stew probably removes most but something quick would still contain a lot of the alcohol. But it's a very small amount in total.

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You should see the guy his brother killed, turned the water into brandy.

swab148

Replace the lead with microplastics

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I can also give you an army of Aquaman, how cool is that?
(don't hurt me if I made an unholy crossover, I have no idea which heroes belong to which universe)

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People have said the fact is derived from experiment done on live human subjects by the WW2 Japanese torture unit, Unit 731.

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So if wine is between 80-90% water anyway, doesn't seem that impressive.

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Shame all his enemies are demon type who are immune to blood attacks, of course he can perform the cleansing ritual that has advantage against demon types casting possess so he isn't completely useless it's still a waste of a spell slot.