It’s the day of boats!
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It’s the day of boats!
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Things I enjoy about the Boxing Day Boats: boats are cool, Sydney harbour, saying things like ‘tacking’ and ‘spinnaker’ and ‘starboard’
Things I absolutely love about the Boxing Day Boats: annoying people who think yachting is ruling class (true) therefore uninteresting (does not follow)
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The Sydney to Hobart begins with a starter’s cannon. I propose the following rules amendment: the race starts with a siren, they get an hour to leave the Heads, and then they load the cannon with ball
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All yachts to carry a boarding crew to capture prizes en route. Spectator speedboats to be fired upon. First yacht to raid and sack the monastery at Eden becomes the annual Viking title holder
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Boats must be across the Bass Strait by day 3 in order to receive the Governor’s Pardon, all other crews without letters of marque may be hanged for piracy
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Maxi yachts must accompany their entry with a stake to be wagered comprising a winery, hedge fund, legal practice. Line honours wins all the others’ properties
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The countdown to the start is on. All boats are taking on ammunition, securing flak jackets, and mapping the Parramatta River as far as Ermington. Past Rydalmere, Kurtz’s command is reputed to be contested. Never get out of the boat.
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New rule: any yacht that carries a quadcopter drone immediately is classed as a carrier group and must navigate the Taiwan Strait #releasechang
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