Remembering the time I was contracted as a security consultant in 2002-ish to review network security, help with documention, and to harden company systems, when I was mansplained about...

[catsalad@infosec.exchange]

Remembering the time I was contracted as a security consultant in 2002-ish to review network security, help with documention, and to harden company systems, when I was mansplained about... (wait for it)... security.

So I was sitting at my desk writing documentation in the very open office, when one of the programmers, I guess trying to brag or impress me, sits on the edge of my desk and says, "So, you know, I'm a hacker."

Me, who is loves all things hacking and security related, replies, "Really? That's awesome!"

Him: "Yeah, so a computer hacker is someone who can [blah blah] and ..."

I quickly discover that he has zero clue I am the solo security consultant working at the place, and that I'm an actual hacker.

Me (thinking to myself): Okay, well everyone starts somewhere, and it looks like he the caught the hacker bug— Wait, is he... now explaining what a network is to me?

🧵

[catsalad@infosec.exchange]

Cut to my sister-in-law walking by with 10 different expressions on her face, from disbelief to humor, when she realized that our coworker (and a personal friend of hers) was mansplaining the definition of networking and computer security to me.

Realizing he is blissfully unaware that I touch computers on the daily, I decide to try an give him a subtle out.

So I slowly reach for my freshly bought Official (ISC)² Guide to the CISSP CBK book that was *checks notes* sitting between us on the desk next to my O'Riley books.

I open it to the section titled "Domain 2: Telecommunications and Network Security" and continue to nod at his explanations.

You might have guessed it, but he did not notice.

🧵

[catsalad@infosec.exchange]

This coworker was a talker, and it was close to lunch anyway, so I figured I would listen for a bit while asking questions.

At this point, my SIL has apparently spread word of events currently unfolding, so now the entire office of like 17 people has gathered in the main work area, trying to look busy, all the while listening the conversation.

Unfortunately, for him anyway, I found out he also likes to make things up when he doesn't know something, and it did not take long at all to reach that knowledge threshold.

I kept letting him talk without correcting or anything, just listening with my poker face.

The office giggling increases, and eventually he starts to notice that something is going on, but he just can't quite put his finger on.

I can't even remember what the last thing he was talking about, but when I replied with, "Oh, is that right?", apparently that was too much for my other coworkers to handle.

They all burst out laughing so hard.

My sister-in-law, with tears in her eyes, puts her hand on his shoulder and explains that I'm basically the security department here, before mention getting lunch with him at the local diner.

Poor dude... Lol

[catsalad@infosec.exchange]

This thread was definitely inspired by @skinnylatte⁠'s recent posts about being 'splained online about what PC¹ means.

⁠https://hachyderm.io/@skinnylatte/113609428181540510

⁽¹⁾ personal computer, in case you didn't know

[thomholwerda@exquisite.social]

@catsalad Some day, some dude will mainsplain Fedi, shitposting, and memes to you.

[mae@is.badat.dev]

@thomholwerda @catsalad https://social.coop/@cwebber/113483100191170865

[catsalad@infosec.exchange]

@Mae @thomholwerda Oh, that whole thread by @cwebber is just gold!

[angelastella@social.treehouse.systems]

@catsalad @Mae @thomholwerda @cwebber

Proof that a ten feet tall neon sign spelling "THIS IS A HONEYPOT - ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK" is never wasted.

[risottobias@tech.lgbt]

@catsalad reaching for a book could imply studying to be a hacker, not that you had already gotten the cert

Unless you were the author of said book, which would be comically bad (but likely small font and not an author photograph, not legible unless in their face)

(Or the author of the O'Reilly ones)

So devil's advocate that subtle hint would have gone over my head "oh, lots of security folks are studying for CISSP but haven't gotten it"

Not that their lack of self awareness would have made a difference, just that tell is not as amazingly visible.