Demanding a pronoun is like demanding a burka.

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The form of language is dictated by the preferences of all those involved in the conversation

No, it really isn’t.

southsamurai

Look, your comments show what you're saying better than your post. So keeping that in mind, you've made an error.

See, while language is a consensus based thing, or isn't the only determinant of how it's used. The consensus doesn't inherently forbid individual usages.

So, the idea that me insisting on my pronouns be used is not the same as a burka or similar garb.

Now, I get part of your argument, that there's a point at which highly individualized pronouns become enough of a hassle that expecting anyone to remember them is an exercise in futility. You aren't going to shift the way a language functions like that, it just isn't going to happen that everyone gets to pick their own pronoun/s when they aren't also a part of the current language structure.

That's not a matter of right or wrong, it's a purely practical thing. To create that kind of shift in language requires broad acceptance of the idea, and it being part of early language acquisition. In other words, if you aren't learning the structure of completely individual pronouns as part of your learning your language as a very small child, then that's going to always be unfamiliar and awkward. It will take conscious effort to use the proposed change.

And that's where the barrier is. It's easy enough to get folks on board with he/she/they because it's already there in the unwritten rules we pick up passively. Once you start trying to invent words, you have to convince other people they're useful at all. Then you have to teach them what those words mean, when to use them or not use them, and how they're supposed to be applied when a niche situation arises.

As an example, xe and xey replacing not only the gendered he/she, but the agender they in consistent way. It kinda makes sense, though English isn't a great language to use x as the first letter of a word. There's other languages that only have a single pronoun for individuals and one for multiplies, so the concept is easy to swallow.

But, you still have to convince people that there's a good reason to switch. There's people that already fight hard for the right to have their gendered pronouns recognized, and won't give that up because it matters to them. You've got people that will (accurately) point out that we already have the singular "they", so adding another word in is not useful. You've got people that will object because the you'll still have to teach the previous forms so that people can read the centuries of writing already out there.

That's a huge barrier to overcome, and that's just for one change.

And there isn't a single consensus about what alternate pronouns to add/replace. There's multiple competing ones, so there's no critical mass of people to shift the majority.

To be clear though, none of that is the equivalent of forcing you to wear a burka. None of it.

That's where you screwed up. You conflated two things that are absolutely not the same, crammed them into a ragebait title, and didn't think it through before posting.

Mind you, that last part assumes you don't actually believe the tripe and are just playing around with ideas. I prefer not to assume malice, until it is so certain it can't be alienated avoided.

Pandantic [they/them]

And when they want to go by something else, we're ok with it (nick names)

You know who’s not fine with it? People who care more about themselves than they care about others.

I had a friend named John who, later in life, asked to be called his given name, Jonathan. For the friend group and most of his family, it was a bit hard to remember at first, but we did it because we cared about him. For some of his family, it was another matter - they fought against it with excuses, questioning, and “forgetfulness”. Only after being assertive, defending himself again and again did they respect his wishes. And this was a cis male asking to be called his give name because he felhe was at a new stage of his life. The difference was that one part of his family cared more about themselves than they did about Jonathan.

Some of us have an abundance of care to fellow humans, and we give it freely. Some are too inconvenienced by things that they don’t like, or doesn’t fit their conventions that they say, “You can’t make me respect you!” or “Respecting you is making me less free!” And they do so because they care less about the people they interact with than themselves.

I’m guessing OP is a troll btw. Anyone serious on this topic would have written a manifesto. Thanks for getting me writing though!

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Haha you're welcome! I'm glad you took the time to write it out, as it was good to read. Thank you!

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You say that, but I have had a pet snake since I was a child and because I was a boy child I assumed they were male. But once I got older it occured to me that I have no idea if they're actually male or female (because sexing a snake isn't as easy as with mammals) and it seems more likely that they're actually female. But I'm not certain either way and I genuinely don't care. So I've since started refering to them as they/them. My dad still points it out every time I do it. "Oh, you have multiple snakes?" It's kinda weird considering he's so progressive in every other way.

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what I want to call you

Like that matters, lol. You either call them what they ask to be called or fuck off.

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Such a fragile little creature.

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Repurposing existing pronouns is the problem. Other languages have nice, gender neutral pronouns. We just need a nice new, singular gender neutral pronoun.

Example...

He/she/fai
Him/her/hai

Then make it standard to use the neutral version where gender doesn't matter. Telling a story about your teacher? Is it pertinent we need to know the gender? No? Then standardize on the neutral version.

English has always been one of the most fluid languages. Why stop now? Just fix it.

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Well we call someone by stupid names which we like to call but he/wwhoever does not like it at all

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Conservatives are the softest people I've ever met. Oppressed by having to consider anyone else's feelings. God forgive you have to think for a split second before speaking to someone. I guess that last part is what makes it so painful.