Hello everyone!

[smallcircles@social.coop]

@annika @cwebber yes, you just send a Kiss{BodyPart} message to the actors that represent your friends.

[blort@social.tchncs.de]

@cwebber @ramsey

Definitely.
Just with less furries...
.
..And trans people..
..And leftists..
And unbiased timelines.
And non profit development.
And decentralization.
And diversity.
And {continues indefinitely...}

[woo@fosstodon.org]

@fleeky @cwebber Servers set their own rules and publish them but if others don't like their standards, they ignore the feeds from that server. Most people don't want porn when they are working or with their children. There will be a place or places but it will be isolated from the people who chose a 'no porn' server.

Many of us don't want misogyny, racism, fascism etc. We can avoid them.

[smallcircles@social.coop]

@cwebber @Raccoon @jami

People tend to be misjudged in various different ways. It just happens now and then.

What I find a pity in this behavior pattern stereotyping is how purely by their name they constitute a severe 'counter attack' which is often either overkill or not warranted. It erodes 'social fabric'.

I once reformulated:

#ReplyGuy --> #ReplySigh
#Mansplaining --> #Oversplaining

Simple renaming avoids generalising all men, increases inclusion and diversity.

https://social.coop/@smallcircles/112307338089655205

[raccoon@techhub.social]

@smallcircles @cwebber @jami
I think there's also an issue with the way these terms get used in general. In this case, "Splaining" was used in response to someone giving a simple answer to a questions that popped up on their timeline. Regardless of gender, how is that a bad thing?

In terms of the "ReplyGuy" stuff, I've never quite understood the concept in general: we are posting on a public network, where anyone can read it and anyone can make an account and respond. How is it a negative when people reply to a public post? I can understand if we are talking about a deluge of totally unhelpful comments, but I hear it thrown around for mere statements of agreement, links to relevant articles, elaborated counterpoints, and other actual engagement... If they're not looking to talk with other people, why are post it on a public network?

(That's a genuine question if people could explain it to me.)

[smallcircles@social.coop]

@Raccoon @cwebber @jami

I sometimes compare to public road behavior. There are these official rules we practiced and taken exams for. Analogous to how we should behave. For traffic to be smooth.

In practice our social dynamics change as soon as we enter a car. Partly in our own bubble, partly in traffic, we behave erratically, emotionally, distraught. There are barriers between us and other drivers and we misunderstand their gestures behind the windscreen. We misinterpret, up to road rage.

[raccoon@techhub.social]

@smallcircles @cwebber @jami
The problem with that comparison is that we don't take exams to be on here, we just agree to follow the rules, and the only "official" rules are things like "don't be racist" or "don't harass people" or "don't post pictures of people having sex without a content warning".

What are the official rules that would stop people from explaining obvious things, or stop people from replying to public threads that the reply is not wanted in? (I don't think we can give people an exam before they start posting)

[smallcircles@social.coop]

@Raccoon @cwebber @jami

Yea, analogies only go so far. In the analogy traffic rules are a bit like our CoC, and the road network our social graph. In traffic we must 1st learn to drive, to conduct even. Learn subtle signals, an upstoken hand, a simple nod "you can go". Traffic culture, rites, habits. We have an intuitive rational system. And then a whole thick layer of unpredictable human behavior on top. A social layer perhaps, where rules are in culture, psychology, philosophy realms.

[raccoon@techhub.social]

@smallcircles @cwebber @jami
I don't think "learn unspoken rules" is a viable solution to any user-based problem... :V

[smallcircles@social.coop]

@Raccoon @cwebber @jami

Learn the culture to earn the culture. That can be structured, I think. But yea, a broad area to cover