Corpus Christi

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jesus was a bottom. did you think he was topping 12 dudes a night?

lime!

i mean it’s mostly all metaphor and allegory, meant to teach you lessons rather than to act as a historical document.

it’s like a book of fables for people who think animals are silly

Flax

The four gospels read as eyewitness accounts and reports of a real person, not as fables and allegories.

Troy

It’s basically a zombie death cult. This powerful necromancer has to die to become a lich, releasing his soul into a phylactery which happens to be the souls of his believers (and making it really hard to destroy his phylactery). Then his believers are promised that they will come back as undead, as a reward for carrying a part of this “holy ghost” phylactery. What a racket.

Troy

“read as” is doing a lot of heavy lifting. Most scholars say they were written well after the fact (decades to generations after), after a bunch of oral tradition related changes crept in. Plus, they were sort of down selected from a much larger corpus.

So this is just a narrative technique rather than an actual eyewitness account.

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Take this cream-filled donut, for it is my…

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I wanted a supper, not a snack!

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you can say bullshit.

for fucks sake.

Flax

By “well after the fact”, it’s still within the lifetime of eyewitnesses. Contrasted with other historical records, it’s pretty good. Like Alexander the Great being written about 800 years after the fact, or some details about Julius Caesar being written down 200 years after the fact which nobody disputes. For something we can archaeologically prove which also happened at the time - the pompeii disaster - there is one record 30 years later. Despite it being an event witnessed by hundreds of thousands and likely having influential romans among it’s victims. You’re really overestimating the frequency of writings and documentation from the first century. In which the New Testament is abnormal in that it has a high frequency. So something that clearly was a big deal did happen. The traditions as well carried across societies, so must have been rooted in fact. As for the larger corpus - those were the centuries later forgeries that were removed for that reason - because they were much later and not seen as reliable. Some of them were attributed to more important figures also, like Thomas. So the early Church clearly cared about accuracy.

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meant to teach you lessons

The foremost lesson being “obey authority figures or else”

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Most scholars say they were written well after the fact (decades to generations after), after a bunch of oral tradition related changes crept in

Almost like it’s all a bunch of bullshit invented to control the masses

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“Treat women and children like property. Always blame victims. Take slaves from neighboring countries, never your own.”

Lots of great lessons in that holiest of books.

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Adults are also allowed to choose not to. It’s cool.

Kokesh

This should be on Wikipedia as description of Christianity

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Second is “don’t question them”

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It’s the opposite of cool. Cringey as fuck, is what it is.

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But only mostly!

Catholicism truly believes you are eating Jesus’s body and drinking his blood at mass.

But it’s not cannibalism because the bread and wine still keep all their properties after turning into Jesus

www.catholic.com/…/are-catholics-cannibals

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You seem very upset about this.

An adult choosing to slightly censor a word has you in meltdown mode. Gosh.

thisisbutaname

How about some mayo?

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Abject wilful idiocy irks me. ‍️

Also, I was in the toilet and had time to type.