The best “I told you so”s are the ones where you never have to say “I told you so” because the other person clearly knows you told them so

[jjjalljs@ttrpg.network]

I'm going to guess erp doesn't mean "erotic role play" here but maybe you had a niche job.

[jjjalljs@ttrpg.network]

I'm usually more interested in what they learned than rubbing their face in it.

Like, are they going to listen to me next time or are we going to keep having this problem?

[sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world]

Enterprise resource planning. No too much erotic about it. Probably for the best...

[today@lemmy.world]

Offered to take my adult kids to the beach -we will rent a pet-friendly house that's big enough for everyone if you get your dog fixed before we go; we don't want to be dealing with dog in heat at a beach house.

We booked the house. The dog did not get fixed. They came anyway but left a day early because...yep, the dog went into heat.

About an hour after they left, son called - "Wow! That immigration checkpoint was not as quick and easy as you described it!"

Apparently, standing on the side of the road with a pocketful of weed while your wife holds the dog and feds search your car can be unsettling.

"Sir, do you know why our dog alerted on your car?"

[smoogs@lemmy.world]

…What?

Some of these sentences do not make sense. I'm not even clear how they fit together.

[phughes@lemmy.ca]

I realized I'd inadvertently crossed into Switzerland due to a wrong turn when my rental car's navigation system alerted me to the fact. Whoops.

[varyingexpertise@feddit.org]

I think that's those places where the asphalt changes quality and the streetlights start to look different.

[shalafi@lemmy.world]

Ah! Like crossing from Alabama into Mississippi! LOL, even the interstate turns to shit in MS.

[masterbaexunn@lemmy.world]

Tbh this is mostly a yank thing. If you come to my country it's a quick glance at the passport, 2 or 3 questions and a "Bienvenido."

[jlh@lemmy.jlh.name]

yeah even going into the PRC, I just applied for a visa in advance, the machine took my fingerprints, and I went. At the Swedish Danish border, they check your ID now when you drive over, again, you hand them the ID, they look at you, and you can go.

The US just really likes to pay people to ask about your trip to Sweden.

[lovablesidekick@lemmy.world]

Cop: Do you knw why our dog alerted on your car?

Me: [sticking my head out to look] He did what???

[lovablesidekick@lemmy.world]

I thought gloating was the whole point tho.

[weker01@sh.itjust.works]

Yea Microsoft doesn't do interstates well I've heard

[weker01@sh.itjust.works]

If you don't find resource planning on an enterprise level erotic then I don't know what's wrong with me

[kolanaki@yiffit.net]

Went 4 wheeling with my friends years ago. Driver pulls up to the bottom of one of the hills, looking up you can see the lip at the top comes out forward a bit, meaning if you drove over it, your vehicle would end up upside down.

Tell my friend "You ain't getting up that. And I'm not sitting back here when you try and getting crushed when you fucking flip over, dumbass." He and our other friend keep arguing it won't flip, it's fine.

I get out, he and my other friend started pushing up the hill.... They get about half-way and the fucking axel breaks, they lose power and control, come back down the hill and slam into a walnut tree in the orchard at the bottom.

"I told you you weren't getting up that hill!"

"And I told you we wouldn't flip over!"

[agent641@lemmy.world]

He made the sound from Metal Gear Solid

[piecat@lemmy.world]

Worst-case ontario

Passed with flying carpets

It's not rocket appliances

It's just water outta the fridge

[benjaben@lemmy.world]

Delicious. That last one especially, scrolls right off the tongue.

Feels like something Ricky from Trailer Park Boys would deliver.

[awesomelowlander@sh.itjust.works]

the dog went into heat.

“Sir, do you know why our dog alerted on your car?”

Welp, time to start a smuggling ring.

[lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network]

I am Dutch, I approve this message.