The rules are made up and the points don't matter
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
Is "normal social anxiety symptoms" really meaningfully different than ""normal social anxiety"? Isn't that implied?
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
without seeming to do anything to address the situation.
seeming
A lot of the struggles and progress in this area isn't going to outwardly visible unless they decide to share that with you.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
Ah this is a classic language misunderstanding. "Isn't necessarily" means "possibly not [thing]" or "doesn't have to be" or "may or may not be" but doesn't have much bearing on probabilities.
That's how people usually use that term in English anyway.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
Also while I dont have social anxiety, I do have Autism and was diagnosed more specifically with Aspergers. This means that I really dont like dealing with people in general, not in an anxiety wag but in a let me do my own thing type of way.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
The entire point is that seemingly easy thing just isn't for them. I know because that used to be me at my worst points.
It can be learned however. Now I'm probably the guy they want to avoid because I will smile and say hi.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
It is not implied. In fact I doubt most people would consider social anxiety to be even a clinical term and it is often used a catch all for minor anxiety towards social interactions that can be difficult.
Following up someone saying they hide inside when neighbors are around and that they think they are buffoons for not moving at the speed you want because of a lack of self control with "well that's just normal social anxiety" validates and normalizes behavior that is neither valid nor productive.
My grandmother was an English teacher and she would tell you it's not ok to leave things implicit as you leave the comprehension to the reader when that is the purpose of you as the speaker.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
That's simply not true. I agree that it seems to be social anxiety depicted but you misunderstand that phrase. That's basically just saying it could be something else, nothing to do with likelihood.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
No one's bragging about anything. We're just trying to have a good laugh and relate to some problems we encounter in our lives. Nobody explicitly told you that we aren't trying to solve this problem. I don't know why you would make the assumption that we weren't.
It just seems like you want to shit on people going through something for the fun of it. Do better.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
But where does the comic state or imply that living like this is healthy? The character doesn't seem happy.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
I'm aware but worth pointing out. It's easy to forget. Also to forget that our personal experience is not universal.
I had really bad anxiety in my youth. I'd get nauseous. Staying inside alone made it worse. So much worse. Taking the plunge and actually going out, talking to people, engaging, regularly, that lead to progress. Even if it meant throwing up in the bathroom sometimes. But that probably won't work for everyone.
But I guess some part of me has a visceral reaction that's just like "you're making it worse! You're just hiding from the problem and it's never going to get better this way! Just go outside and nothing bad will happen, and you'll stop freaking out eventually!". But that's not everyone.
But yes, to your point, a lot of the time it seems like they're not even trying, and I can't know their inner world. Sometimes they're not, sometimes they are.
I don't think it's an accurate assessment to say "everyone is doing their best" though because some people certainly are not.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
Hm, I'm kind of in between. I do this fairly often, not wanting to go out right when someone else is there. But I don't know why, since as far as I can tell it doesn't make me feel anxious to run into someone like in the cartoon.
It doesn't bother me at all to cross paths with someone and I'm fine with saying Hi or just nodding to acknowledge their presence. Rarely does anyone actually try to start a conversation or anything. If they do say anything it's probably just a one-liner and move on. And it's easy to tell if someone doesn't want to nod or say Hi as you pass because they stare at the ground the whole time, and I'm fine with that too, but I don't do that.
But now I'm wondering, so why do I tend to wait until they're gone? Is it really social anxiety? I don't think so? I'm a loner but I have no problem or anxiety talking to people either.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
You speak on behalf of others that have stated the opposite and you speak to my motives incorrectly.
I don't wish for people to normalize this as the end of the symptoms cause it creates a world where people who are suffering as well don't have others to look to for having to go through the struggle of bettering oneself. People are in here normalizing the act of the anxiety and not the stress of rising above it.
I'm responding to the conversation as it is happening in here. You are responding to how you wish it was because it's easier to blame the squeaky wheel.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
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[email protected]replied to VeganPizza69 â“‹ last edited by
Expensive, cold, and dark. Otherwise sounds fantastic.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
It does feel like it might be, but I don't know if it really is.
The UK generally has extremely good fire safety regulations, so if this was getting people killed I feel like it would have been the subject of some scrutiny.
The house I grew up in was this way, and the house I live in now with a new door (<10yo) is still that way.
As a kid I never thought about it, and I don't remember ever being stuck in the house.
The way people normally deal with keys is that everyone who needs a key has one of their own on their keyring, and there is usually also a 'house' key which stays by the door and isn't taken away anywhere.
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Did she happen to mention there is, in practice, a difference between casual and formal communication? And that different rules apply to each?
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
Completely depends on culture. Even in the US, I like working in the northeast because people ignore each other and it's fantastic. In the south it actually impedes my work because it seems like everyone wants to have meaningless conversations all the time.
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AwesomeLowlanderreplied to [email protected] last edited by
Please don't misquote me, I said nothing of the sort.
*Isn't necessarily means >0% chance
*Probably means >50% chanceThey are not the same
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You're not a threat and you don't set my nervous system into meltdown. It's the level of abstraction that I need to interact at all.
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Or God forbid someone just disagree with the way you said something and express it without needlessly aggressively defending of it because it's not ok apparently to adjust your point.
We need not rely on pedantry to cover why your statement was poorly received in some ways. In either casual or formal I still find your comment distasteful and I would not be alone even if you are not in support. If you think I misunderstood your point remake it for better understanding or else you insist that that was the one you wanted to make without change.
I just don't care when people get upset when I push back against their engrained thoughts cause it truly doesn't matter if you think of me poorly for as long as you remember my existence. My point is to be opposing you in that statement.I'm not going to back off of it because you think mine invalid. That was likely always to be the case no matter the tone or verbage I used. This it's not for you. It's so the pushback exists at all. So that there isn't a world with only your opinion and take in it.
So I put it back into the world again.
No it's not normal to be so against your neighbors existence that you consider them buffoons for existing in a social space to the point that you simply have to wait for them to leave, and no that's not normal of social anxiety to have no mechanism to handle that other than seething anger at others.