I love the social media we are building where if you disagree with someone and attempt to discuss things and try to figure out what you are missing and why people think something, they will just block you.

Pope Bob the Unsane

Kat Valentine Allwell

@bobdobberson I see it as a stepping stone for people who've been isolated and alienated.

One of the most important boundaries people can learn is the ability to walk away and say "no" to people they don't want to be around.

Unfortunately, building a better world takes as much working to understand other people as it does walking away from people whose goals don't align with your own.

I also think that the internet makes it *really* easy to assume the worst of everyone else.

Pope Bob the Unsane

@katanova as we say no to people and cut them off, we make our bubbles smaller and smaller.

As our bubbles become smaller, more things feel uncomfortable, encouraging us to further reduce our bubble.

Until eventually, our bubbles are so small that every interaction outside of our bubble is hostile and re-enforces that we should just stay inside the tiny bubble we are in.

Kat Valentine Allwell

@bobdobberson You have indeed hit on a core dysfunction of internet communities.

Thank you for visiting Plato's cave, please don't say a damn fucking thing about what you see from the outside to anyone in it.

There *is* the counterpoint, though; as we appreciate how this approach warps our perception and makes our lives worse, we may gain an appreciation for others who also see larger patterns, even if we don't share their perspectives.

Kat Valentine Allwell

@bobdobberson It's very very easy to see dysfunction in others, much more difficult to see it in ourselves. Often the things that frustrate us most about other people are things we dislike about ourselves and our own behavior.

As I've grown, I've also gained an appreciation for carefully guarding who I share social spaces with. People who have not yet learned how to differentiate themselves from their social groups may find it easier to maintain self-direction through carefully curated circles

Pope Bob the Unsane

@katanova I see it as my responsibility to help others learn, so I do my best not to hide from the ignorant.

Kat Valentine Allwell

@bobdobberson Even though I'm aware of this, I'm still having a hell of a time constructing my own internally stable identity after a lifetime of reflecting people around me

I think that's what people are really afraid of. For people who haven't learned how to do that, conflicting perspectives feel like an attack on identity. If they accept that someone else can have a different perspective and that's okay, but haven't yet learned to differentiate, it seems like internalizing that other reality

Kat Valentine Allwell

@bobdobberson Yeah, I can definitely appreciate that perspective. Spreading knowledge and understanding is definitely important.

What tools and methods do you use to ensure that you're understood in what you're saying, and that the other person is ready to hear it?