I just told this to a friend, and maybe you folks online could benefit from it too.
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Katanova, the Forest Nomadwrote last edited by [email protected]
I just told this to a friend, and maybe you folks online could benefit from it too.
They said that they need a therapist, but they know that they just need to quit drinking, sleep regularly, and exercise.
I told them that those things weren't the problem, they're the symptoms.
While doing all those things would make them feel better, the actual problems are all the things that make them feel like they don't deserve to feel better from taking care of themselves.
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@katanova People don't derive the motivation to do self care because they feel like they deserve it, or the flip. Mostly the impetus isn't there because of historical trauma (could be self-imposed) or genetics that has, perhaps permanently, altered their serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, cortisol, and/or oxytocin levels/production. That's just the chemical side, and psychiatry really hasn't figured out how, exactly, that, or their medications, work.
There's no bootstraps. S*'s real.
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Katanova, the Forest Nomadreplied to Janis last edited by
@janisf You're right. There are no bootstraps. Nothing is ever straightforward when it comes to the mind.
Environment affects disposition, disposition affects how someone relates to their environment. There's never any simple answers.
I'm not saying therapy is useless. I'm saying that a productive approach to therapy is figuring out ways to convince one's self that they deserve good things.
The counterpart to that is learning how to have healthy boundaries.
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Katanova, the Forest Nomadreplied to Katanova last edited by
@janisf Someone who believes they deserve *all* the good things is going to struggle with healthy boundaries and ways of relating to other people.
People who don't feel like they deserve any good things are going to struggle with how they relate to themselves.
You're right. All of these things are real.
I like living in a world where it's possible to change those things about myself.
For some people, that world may not be achievable. That's not for me to say whether it is or not for them.