me: *presses play on an app*

[jk@mastodon.social]

me: *presses play on an app*

app: Great! Your journey is about to begin! Just some questions first. Where were you born? How would you describe your income bracket?

me: *dismiss*

app: Got it! We'll ask you next time before asking you questions.

me: *presses shuffle button*

app: Got it! Shuffle enabled until tomorrow.

notification: Somebody enabled shuffle playback on your account. Click here to verify

notification: ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Power user

app: Do you want to rate this app?

[vwbusguy@mastodon.online]

@jk app: I see you're in a Target. Enable location permissions to always allow access to this app to get offers for the aisle you're currently in.

[pcbeard@sfba.social]

@vwbusguy @jk the target app lies about what they have in stock.

“You’re in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.”

[vwbusguy@mastodon.online]

@pcbeard @jk If shopping at Target were like a MUD dungeon crawler.

[cmdrsprocket@mathstodon.xyz]

@vwbusguy @pcbeard @jk You have been eaten by a marketing grue.

[pcbeard@sfba.social]

@cmdrSprocket @vwbusguy @jk somebody should do a parody of zork consisting entirely of internet culture and hardships. You, the hapless blogger trying to find an audience but are gradually shut out of the game as SEO stops working and your content is given away by search engine excerpts.

[vwbusguy@mastodon.online]

@pcbeard @cmdrSprocket @jk Paging @mc_frontalot . He seems uniquely qualified for that.