Logic

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my favorite corporate logic: "let's do it this extreme way," then "it backfired, let's do it the opposite extreme".... when the answer was always in the middle

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This is my work insisting on using people's roles for their email addresses "so the accounts can be reused when they quit." Thats, not how any of this works.

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"Work logic" is the best expression I never noticed I needed a name for.

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I just had a conversation like this about 10 minutes ago at work.

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I love working for reasonable people with shared goals and life circumstances

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Logic is just a trap

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HIPPO logic. HIggest Paid Person's Opinion. Whatever the boss says goes, even when it's a stupid idea.

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Often the stupid shit we see at work is legitimate for reasons above our pay grade, don't need to know. A manager that will openly and honestly explain those things is a treasure.

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See what I do is juuuuuuust, not give a fuck. I do things my way, and when the bosses say "No, you gotta do it THIS way" I just say "OOOOOOOOH, ok. I'll do that".

As if it's the first time they've ever told me. Then I just act like I'm learning it for the first time, and then....this is the key.....I still do it my way.

And then the bosses say "No no no, remember? We gotta do it THIS way!"

And I say "OOOOOOOOH, ok. I'll do that."

And then......key moment.....I still don't give a shit, and still do my way.

And then the bosses say "Hey, remember, we said we were doing it this way?"

And I say "Yeah, I was doing that,but then I remembered we also do it this other faster way, and then I did that instead."

"Well, we don't do that anymore. We do THIS! THIS! THIS is the way we do it. THIS!!!"

"OOOOOOOOOOH, ok. I'll do that."

And then......I do it my way.

And the boss above the boss doesn't give a shit because it doesn't matter either way. So the only one losing their shit is middle management.

See the key here is to drive them slowly insane, until they get so angry, and so full of hate that they turn to drinking. Which inevitably gets them to become an alcoholic at work, as that's the source of their stress. Which in turn gets them fired for being drunk on the job.

That's when you go out and find a handsome muscular man with a big penis. And you pay him to seduce this guys wife. Multiple times. Eventually he gets addicted to sleeping with her, and you stop paying him. It'll be easy since her husband is now an unemployed alcoholic.

So now you've been promoted at work, because there's been a recent role to fill, everyone around you knows you're not the one to fuck with, and now management above you is saying "Hey, we need to do things THIS way now."

"OOOOOOOOOH, ok. I'll do that."

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They must be working with SAP

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You might want to look into letting them reuse yours, that place sounds painful.

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I think I see the logic that you might want to give say customers for product X the email [email protected] to contact, but that should map to your actual email addresses, not replace them!

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Username doesn't check out, I think you've got a tried-and-tested plan here

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Its every fucking role.
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pm
it
scheduler
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Like what the fuck am I looking at. I just want to fucking email Beth in accounting.

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Not too sure about the 'tried' or 'tested', but 100% agree otherwise.

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If you need to learn Beth's email, just first send an email to [email protected]/

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Indeed, but sometimes those reasons are legitimately stupid.

Case in point, any call center that wants to optimize handle time. The reason they pick it is because it's a very easy and straightforward metric to improve.

You just hang up on people. You can make the number go down super easily. Tell them to call back, so they spend two or even three times as long cycling through a new agent each time. Then it's 3 short 5 to 10 minute calls + time on hold which looks better than one 20 minute call.

sp3ctr4l

Are drive thru restaurants still doing basically the same thing by telling people to pull forward to a parking lot stall, to make it look like their time to complete an order is faster than it actually is?

Slippery_Snake874

Yeah. I've worked in a few places with drive throughs and that is exactly why they have you pull forward. Some places only tell people with large orders to do that though.