Everyone's dead now

Dragon Rider (drag)

Unless they run on a neural net or a genetic algorithm.

hopesdead

Well the thing about Jurassic Park that is lost in the movie adaptation, is that John Hammond was a megalomaniac who (in my opinion) thought he was a god. He didn’t think anything he did was wrong nor that anything could go wrong for him.

::: spoiler The Ending
He and Ian Malcom get killed by a pack of compsognathus trying to get in the helicopter leaving the park.
:::

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Remember when they dialed down the sass? Turns out that setting also affected physics notifications. "physicsassistant" - it was a typo!

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I love Cabin in the Woods for that.

"We should stick together." - fart spray - "We should split up."

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Couldn't you use that to create a planet-destroying superlaser?

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But didn't realize that there was time dilation involved.

They knew there would be time dilation. They literally discussed it just before they went down there. They just thought they could get it done in a few earth-years rather than decades.

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They did know about the time dilation, though? They weren't surprised by the fact that there was time dilation, they just didn't fully grasp what the results would be.

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Actually, yeah…
https://youtu.be/ulCdoCfw-bY

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Even though the characterisation is different, there's still plenty of clues in the movie showing that when he says he "spared no expense" he's full of shit.

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Hmm, this is about an exploit using a theory with much uncertainty about a theory with much uncertainty.

I Cast Fist

Wouldn't physically being on said planet be deadly? It must have an absurdly high gravity if there's so much time dilation

That or the planet must be travelling at significant fractions of lightspeed, which makes landing there a challenge of its own

hopesdead

Actually he isn’t lying about the expense. Chilean sea bass is on average $30USD per pound.

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The planet's gravity is not what is causing the time dilation, but rather the gravity of the supermassive black hole that it was orbiting. The black hole is somehow spinning extremely rapidly, causing frame dragging, which creates a particular stable orbit very close to the event horizon.

Apparently the energy requirements of the orbit would preclude ever reaching the planet except by slingshot manoeuvres around intermediate size black holes or neutron stars.

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Turns out only sending mega nerds into a hostile environment might not be the most well thought out system.

The only qualified astronaut is that one SEAL+Doctor+Astronaut+Model.