When you don't have any Adderall

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Obligatory "sorry I didn't have time to clean" when the guests arrive, after you cleaned for 2 hours.

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Which leads to burn-out in the long run.

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I've come up with the most cursed business idea in history.

I envision founding what is effectively a suspiciously cheap home-cleaning service. Like a cleaning service, we'll require access to your home. We'll need a key or door code. However, we don't actually ever send anyone to clean your house.

Instead, we let you do the cleaning. We don't DO the cleaning. We INSPECT your cleaning. When signing up for our service, you're signing up to have a cleaning inspector show up to your house at any random time between 8 AM and 5 PM. It will be completely at random. It could be months between the random inspections, or you could get inspected 3 days in a row.

The inspector will be a form of your choosing. You can sign up for an angry boot camp drill-instructor type. You can sign up for someone who will more have the vibe of a grossed-out boyfriend/girlfriend. Or they can send a team of older inspectors that will make it feel like you're being berated by your parents. The choice of shame is up to you!

The inspectors will go through your home, call you a slob, and belittle your cleaning ability. We won't make it too ridiculous. By default, they would just expect you to keep things clean and neat, not lab-grade sterile. But if your laundry pile grows, you need to dust, or the bathrooms are a mess? Well you're going to hear about it! If you are present, they will shame you in person. Regardless if you are there or not, you will be sent a report documenting in disgusting detail all the messes and cleaning errors in your house. The report will be filled with professional-grade photos of your filth. And to provide further damning motivation? The report will be posted on the public internet for anyone to view for free.

Note: customers who are clearly using this as a sex thing will be dropped from the service.

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Don't look in the closet!!

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DISCLAIMER:
THIS IS NOT A SEX THING

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DISCLAIMER: THIS IS "NOT" A SEX THING

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I was following along until the humiliation part.

That's the part about pressure cleaning - it's all about the humiliation we expect to occur, not that actually does occur.

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Damn yo. I do tend to scurryfunge a lot.

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I save my podcasts for cleaning. If I don’t have a podcast to listen to I am not cleaning.

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Works every time

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Ooor just get yourself a service sub.

Mike D.

Done this before and I'm in the process of doing it right now.

Moved in three months ago and I'm about 95% unpacked. A family member is visiting in six days and I need to complete unpacking and do a good cleaning.

Mike D.

scurryfunging

Immediately thought it was German. Damn.

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Ok I didn't say it was the best strategy, but sometimes you work with what ya got...

go $fsck yourself

More pixels

https://www.threads.net/@mrs.frollein/post/DEDJeLstooQ

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Every week you gotta:

dust all rooms
vacuum all rooms
mop rooms without carpet
cook multiple times depending on how you get organized
clean kitchen after each cooking session
do the dishes
laundry multiple times
grocery shop
iron clothes
clean the bathroom
take out the trash multiple times

Every few weeks you gotta:

wash curtains
clean the stove
clean up that closet or drawer that's full of stuff you don't know where to put
whatever else I can't think of right now

Every few months you gotta:

defrost the freezer & clean the fridge
deep clean some areas
some other things probably

Add a regular 8h job on top, add commitments (visit for someone's birthday, go out with friends etc), add some hobbies (gaming? Rock climbing? Whatever floats your boat, it still takes time)...

I would burn out faster doing all this shit than postponing my cleaning until someone visits. I try to weave in some chores between the essential stuff, but it always adds up and I need to spend a weekend catching up.

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Thanks ‍️

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I know this is a joke, but it actually works. Even if the motivator is not healthy but rather to be "presentable" to outsiders.

go $fsck yourself

Not sure why your mobile app sucks, but here you go

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I used to cycle 40km a day to get to work, do solid work hours with no distractions, get praised by my boss for my efforts, come home and spend quality time with my ex, and we'd clean the whole damn apartment every Saturday morning, basking in the afterglow of clean apartment for the rest of the weekend where we'd go for nice hikes or watch movies.

I work from home now, where I work longer hours because I'm watching cartoons at the same time which splits my focus, developing health problems because of my lack of exercise, and my lonely apartment is in dire need of TLC because of this one simple fact about myself:

I need structure, and an audience. I crave it. I will happily clean, but never for myself.