OH: Cis people should be made to go to gender hearings where a group of trans people decide what their legal gender is.

Ryan Castellucci :nonbinary_flag:

Of course, we know how shitty it is to be treated as the wrong gender...

Julius Schwartzenberg - Юліус

@ryanc I don't expect this to be similar in any way. As a CIS man, if somebody or some system would explicitly treat me as a woman, there would be more a surprise reaction.

A transgender has likely endured misgendering for a relatively long period, to a traumatic extend and in all sorts of contexts.
Misgendering will always seem much more emotional than for the average CIS person. I don't think I could ever imagine what a trans person feels in that regard.

Ryan Castellucci :nonbinary_flag:

@jschwart It is, in part, death of a thousand cuts, but beyond that, it is the banal cruelty of "we don't care" and "you don't matter".

In other words, it is not, at least for me, the computer being wrong that hurts, it's being told that you're not who you know yourself to be, or worse, that it doesn't matter.

Ryan Castellucci :nonbinary_flag:

@jschwart In my case, I try to walk a razor's edge of androgyny. Sometimes people spontaneously refer to me in gender neutral terms. I once got "sir-or-mam"

Little things can tip it one way or the other. I've had people switch which pronouns they used for me after I took my jacket off.

Ryan Castellucci :nonbinary_flag:

@jschwart "a transgender" is not great phasing, "a trans person" would be preferable.