#introduction
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Having traveled from childhood to adulthood, I have survived a Christian household, had many job experiences, and passed through a variety of interests. During all of these, I have struggled with depression and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), never really finding my way into a socially acceptable or satisfying life. Thus, I have had few stable relationships, many jobs but never a career, and a constant struggle with being "settled" and/or finishing goals.
After years of reading and exploring various spiritual paths, trying for some kind of "self treatment", I have yet to firmly settle on one full filling "truth". Mostly, I find any commitment to a structured self management (daily prayers, special diet, social gatherings, etc.) intolerable. The only care or commitments I've tolerated, when life has been kind, are to the few dogs I have had. Otherwise, I am constantly shifting from "mindfulness", to mystic Esoteric paths, and then familiar mainstream G-d related praise and prayers.
My interests and general skills vary, so as the saying goes, "jack of all trades, master of none". You will find lots of different re-posts but few helpful comments.