Something that I have had to learn the hard way is that self sacrifice is not love, it is a form of self harm, and the only thing that is going to give you is a growing sense of conflicted resentment and an unhealthy view of who you are and what you me...
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Something that I have had to learn the hard way is that self sacrifice is not love, it is a form of self harm, and the only thing that is going to give you is a growing sense of conflicted resentment and an unhealthy view of who you are and what you mean to yourself and an inability to recognize the needs that you have
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@hazelweakly you have no idea how timely this is.
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@hazelweakly flight attendants knew this all along: "ensure your own mask is in place before helping others with theirs". I've been deeply reflecting on this recently.
You didn't ask for advice, but I have related book recommendations if they'd be helpful.
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David Leitko 🗿 :ubuntu_logo:replied to Sam Stokes last edited by
@samstokes @hazelweakly Sam, it would be great if you could share those recommendations, thanks!
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Sam Stokesreplied to David Leitko 🗿 :ubuntu_logo: last edited by
@dvdlite @hazelweakly caveat: situations behind sentiments like these can vary enormously, and I don't presume to diagnose or label anyone.
"Codependent No More" discusses this dynamic of self-sacrifice / resentment. It does propose some labels, which helped me identify some deep-seated patterns in my own behaviour.
"You Are The One You've Been Waiting For" haven't read yet, my therapist recommended it. Views unhealthy relationship patterns from an IFS ("parts") perspective.
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@dvdlite @hazelweakly also "Radical Acceptance" is in adjacent territory, re dealing with difficult circumstances/feelings/people. (Much misunderstood title, it's not about "being okay with everything".)
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Risotto Votedreplied to Sam Stokes last edited by [email protected]
@samstokes @dvdlite @hazelweakly
Yeah stoicism as a philosophy was developed by a rich advisor so it's rich that they don't care about class solidarity.
It's okay to fight for your fair share in an unjust world. Amazon would tell you to meditate rather than unionize.
(or rather it's misused by the kind of tech bro philosopher to say just accept your conditions as a blessing and never be upset about them)
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@risottobias Though onboard with critiques of stoicism + mindfulness as a way to “correct” people into conveniently self-effacing sheep herding themselves off the burnout cliff, which stoic did you have in mind, or did you mean some modern guy adapting it for business bro culture?
Seneca advised Nero, maybe who you meant, but also included are Epictetus, born a slave; Zeno, who actually founded it 400 years earlier, we don’t know his means, though he taught in public.
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@risottobias Partly in case of some new strain of Business Stoicism for BS warding research, partly to emphasize that people of any class background can and do carry water for classism, it’s about the social values one holds; later Roman stoicism (that survived, anyway) is about embracing the status quo because revolutionary thoughts aren’t personally gratifying without successful action and … Nero. Poetically to the original thread, Seneca was sentenced to suicide by his boss.
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"virtue is sufficient to happiness" does get abused a lot.
