As somebody who’s been an American man his whole life, let me tell you: not being hideous is one HELL of an uphill battle.
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As somebody who’s been an American man his whole life, let me tell you: not being hideous is one HELL of an uphill battle.
It’s possible. It truly is. But you have to change •all• of the default settings on •everything•. And some people are vicious, absolutely vicious to you when you try to do that.
Strong agree with this from @DoesntExist:
https://mastodon.social/@DoesntExist/113410768450417537 https://mastodon.social/@DoesntExist/113410768450417537 -
@inthehands I don't know if I'll ever _not_ bring up Mr. Fred Rogers as an example of positive masculinity in these discussions, that was one American man who was not afraid of what dipshit "bros" thought of him as he was very very publicly kind and caring, which can be the hardest, toughest, up-hill fight for social humans. Too many adopt a masculinity of abuse and cowardly violence because of fear of what others might think of them. Itd be sad if it it wasn't destructive
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@inthehands @DoesntExist I have regrets. I wish it were otherwise; it took too long for me to recognize I was being a creep and change my behavior. Better socialization early on would've helped. Paths might have existed but if they did, I didn't see them and wasn't effectively guided to them. The amount of angst and misery that could've been avoided with better guidance from trustworthy mentors is just sad and appalling. The amount of bullshit others had to deal with from me, especially by women, is something I deeply regret and can't fix. The best I can do is reflect, learn, and be less creepy. Not sure I'm in a position to do much more than that.
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Deirdre Saoirse Moenreplied to arclight last edited by
@arclight @inthehands @DoesntExist
This is one reason I try to be a clear communicator about nuances that men can miss.
(It’s also the reason I talk about having had a life-saving abortion: by and large, men *don’t* hear women’s pregnancy horror stories, and mine started with literally projectile vomiting down an entire staircase at work, which was also my first pregnancy symptom.)
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Paul Cantrellreplied to Deirdre Saoirse Moen last edited by
@deirdresm @arclight @DoesntExist
Over and over, hearing members of marginalized groups speak clearly and frankly about their lived experience has been an •essential• part of my own learning. The experience of marginalization and oppression becomes invisible to every one of us when we’re the one in the position of privilege.Those stories are invaluable. Sharing them takes enormous strength. I am deeply, deeply grateful to those who do that work.
