Yes!
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Yes! This exactly.
Giving someone grace isn't saying "their behavior, no matter how destructive, is acceptable forever and ever."
It is saying "I get that they are angry right now, so I won't cast them into the sun and will give them time and space before expecting them to address this."
But it doesn't mean that you allow it to go unremarked, nor does it mean that you _allow it to keep happening_.
Normalize saying "hey mate, that's frak'd up."
https://akko.erincandescent.net/objects/caac9efa-0067-4a5b-8f22-f52032f49af1 -
@hrefna I wish more white trans people would tell each other "hey that's fucked up" about how racist we are though, and not just about things we perceive as transphobia.
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@bright_helpings Sure, I have done so on multiple occasions though I'll freely admit I could probably do it more, and yet still whataboutism ain't it mate.